We came back from the stars
to a galaxy I no longer recognized
(you gave me a Mars Bar
for those rainy day boxes
I collected beneath my bed)
and the Mother
wanted me to spend Saturdays
in a daze of cleaning
(she wanted me to throw
away dreams - I used to
suck on candy cane winters
and hope summer would never
come back.)
I got papercuts on my tongue
from the letters you wanted me
to understand - how did
we spend 400,000 years
floating around the ether
and never know that Belinda
is a moon?
(I'm not a girl)
You took me home
but the sun still stays lit
12 hours a day - the days
don't end.
How does that make you feel?
Author notes
I'm sorry!
A contest entry
- Ready for # 6? by poetryality.
925 points, ended March 20, 2007, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
This is beautiful and bitter. I loved it!

-
Yes!
"I used to
suck on candy cane winters
and hope summer would never
come back."
These lines are filled with sensory perception. I get a whiff of the peppermint, taste it, and see it clearly. Love the ending question, and the "400,000 years" The "paper cuts on the tongue" Excellent!
A brilliant free verse entry. You are surely a contender!
Thank you so much for the time spent to enter my challenge. I wish you all the best.
Much Love ♥
Renee
-
This was definitely an interesting write. I cannot honestly say that I understand anything that you wrote. But I guess that could be a good thing, just as long as you kinda understand it.
--Nanners -
Heh... great that a poem I really don't understand is entered into a contest done by poetryality, a woman who writes poetry I don't really understand.
Anyway, after having read the comments below, I am sure this is a terrific work.
Good luck in your future endevors!
~Das -
WoW
Thats just plain awesome! I love it =D
-
you are just fabulous... i dont know what else to say.


-
-
you could say you were sorry... haha j/k j/k
-
1 - 7 of 7





