Silent serenade,
Echoed footsteps,
And hidden tears forlorn.
To cry would wash away
The only friend that still remains.
Even now
You have to sing your song alone
Once noble songbird
fallen,
Flaming passion,
Burning out
As her feathers brushed the oceans,
Gently smoulder,
Fade
And fail.
Shattered melody,
Linger lost within the clouds
So far away.
Broken wings, defeated dreams,
No one left to help her fly
A contest entry
- One Day Duel by MuddyKing.
300 points, ended March 19, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Excellent ... shimmering and bold ... good usage of words ... superb way to end the poem ... like the skillfulness of crying away our only friend in the first stanza ... great job!
~Ryan~
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Excellent
Very touching and visual. Good luck in the contest.
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Loads of great imagery in here, and I love the way you've used different lengths of lines - it's really effective. This is really powerful stuff!
Katie -
Very well done. This is full of visual that makes you feel. Well said. I love it.
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I agree with Desire..this is very powerful and put you on the contender's list
excellent
you said just enough
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Holy Moly-
What a Powerful piece You have penned here and I just wanted to cry
Love the images for they bring forth emotion and take the reader there~
Thank You for sharing Your Talent!!
Best wishes to You in the contest
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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