standing here in the rain
as it pours down my face
looking hard through the falling water
i finally find what i've been looking for
i see you just standing there
not hating not enjoying
just standing still
stoic and staid
i start to walk up to you
but stop when i see the red around your eyes
and realize
that you've been crying
i don't understand why my macho man
would be standing in the rain
bawling hard
with a gun in his hand
that i finally start to see through the haze
of the rain and the steam and the fog
i hear the noise before i see
the blinding light as the bullet leaves
my tears fall with the rain
fast and hard as i fall to my knees
i don't really know what to do next
but i won't go down the same road as he
it's not worth it...
it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem
i have more to life than death
so many more people would be at a loss
just like i am now
because of him doing what he did
shooting himself like that
i miss him now
i loved him
if only he knew...
now he's gone
and i feel empty
i won't let that happen
to whoever may love me
cuz its a permanent solution to a temporary problem
Author notes
opt 7
A contest entry
- 8 options of madness by McFairy.
2000 points, ended June 2, 2007, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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did this actually happen???? if so, i am soooooooooo sorry. "a permanent solution to a temparory problem" is what my health teacher calls suicide also. "now he's gone
and i feel empty
i won't let that happen
to whoever may love me"
this is really good, with a unique rhyming scheme. good job!
~molls
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it didn't happen to me but my best friend was close to someone who ran her friend's truck into a pole at high speed and killed herself. he keeps telling me never to go down that road or he'll find a way to kill me again. he says its a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
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wow i hope this realy dident happen to u but good poem
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it didn't
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Much happier
This is much better now, it adds more of yourself to it, the pain that you are going through in your inspiration to not do what has been done to you to others, I am sorry for loss, it must be a terrible ordeal.
***Strangeangel*** -
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it actually didn't happen to me but it seems like it, don't it? it happened to a friend of mine, so i guess i'm writing it in his point of view except for the love in it.
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oops I said option 6 when it should be option 7
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Wow
I think that it's absolutely beautiful, I'm not too sure on the word "macho" being used, and I think it could have been lengthened a bit more with your feelings of not doing the same, bringing in your strengths to carry on, other than that I thoroughly enjoyed it, but I would like to see option 6 in your notes please.
***Strangeangel***
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