You're nothing more than the water that flows
From your eyes to your nose to your chin to the ground
With your saltwater tears and your sweetwater fears
You make my pain drip through my veins
You're nothing more than a liquid dream
You can never be touched, you can never be found
I'm desperatly waiting for the day that I
Finally show you how great all this could be
You're nothing more than a fountain of youth
You remind me of when I was never corrupt
But you won't let me have even a sip
Of your purity that will keep me alive
Through the pain and suffering
The sweat and the rain
I've come to wash away
All my liquid dreams of you
A contest entry
- Elements -- 4 Round Contest by Ryno.
300 points, ended March 28, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Metaphor wasn't very strong, and even those this is a freewrite poem you have some inside rhymes that disrupted it. Thank-You for entering, I wish you good luck.
~Ryan~
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