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I usually read each poem twice through,the first time for myself,the second time for the author in case I am able to offer a constructive suggestion.However,I read this both times simply as I enjoyed it so much the first time.The nostalgia is neatly packaged,ties into today and worry of what tomorrow may bring with good usage of description throughout so that the reader almost views the oh to soon grown up miss,especially liked the phraseology of "charm the wind to silence" it has the duality of being both gentle yet demonstrative of the powerful pull of her presence.Well done
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We want to keep our children safe, but cannot protect them from themeselves at times, or from evil doers who take advantage of the young. Such images in these lines - in a way like two different poems in one - liked the recollections brought back into the poem. How we wish we could do some things over and keep them safe forever.
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wow, this poem really embodies what every mother must feel about their daughters.
My favorite lines are:
Your seventh birthday finds chicken bones beneath
the flesh of babyhood, of how we would drive to Mcdonald's
just so you could have the latest polly pocket
and now it's more makeup and pretend-
glitter crusted shoes and you swirl pretty
in a hand-me-down poodle skirt.
It reminds me of summer days spent playing dress up and driving around with my family.
Nice job, this is a really great poem -
The ending is gorgeous, and it is beautiful all around. Many mothers can probably relate to this...wanting so badly to protect their children and keep them young and safe from the evil's of adulthood/the world.
Its very touching. It kind of bothered by how the format/stanzas were inconsistant, but I think it works, its nice in a sense to have the shorter stanzas inbetween the longer ones.
Overall, I enjoyed reading this and was moved by your sentiment. Thank you for sharing! -
all of my babies are having their birthdays as well. Morgan turned nine in March and decided that yes, she will be America's Next top model. Nice to see that other mommy's get caught up in nostalgia and glitter.
I think we should get to keep them wrapped up safe in cotton.
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this is one of the most beautiful poems i've ever read.. it touched me.. the mother of a 17 year old and a 20 year to tears- absolutely wonderful
m
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thank you
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I came here unexpectedly. I wasn't going to, I changed my mind. And figured if I was here, it is only right to leave a few thoughts on your work. It is always lovely and well written.
It's hard to believe, in looking back, how far you've come in your writing. There is something to be said of determination and it has given you a lovely voice.
Of course, I always favored your family poetry anyhow. It seems that that brings the brightest light for you in your work, and I find it personally to often be your most vivid. Perhaps I'm just partial, perhaps not, it's hard to say.
I smiled gently at the part about the poodle skirt. To think it would be loved enough by Faith, that it would grace your poem. Such a silly skirt. My daughter loved it once too.
I hope your daughter's birthday went well. I haven't had the opportunity to ask.
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thank you...
Faith's birthday went well...
It's sad that you show up when I'm not on... but hell, it isn't hard to do. I don't have time for here or poetry, or even just being on the internet, recently. I'm so stretched thin it isn't funny.
I shall send you an email later... if Adam lets me on the computer long enough. He has discovered myspace and it has turned him into a fanatic.
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A Work of Artistic Poetry!!!!!
Your ending really nailed the nauil of the weha dinto the coffin on this one. that ending really gets to me and many other peots because although I may not relate top what you mean in your but but the trasnlation is lost without meaning and well thatsd a good thing because it makes the poem that much artistic and beautiful. your wording flows like the sparkling sunshine off the waves of a watery lake and I just love the beautiful art work you placed through out this poem. Keep up the bloody good work here Ms. Meli
Paul
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this really, really fits me lately. I just had a conversation with my mom about how grown my kids are starting to look. Our twins are seven and already giggling over secret diaries and boys...sigh. The thing is we kept them sheltered from tv and movies that would bring it earlier and it has found them anyhow. This piece is what I love about you. You can take an ordinary moment and ordinary thoughts and pen them in this perfection. Love ya Meli.
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And here are the claps that I forgot.
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I have two boys and the time seems to fly faster than anything -
This is beautiful Mel, just beautiful. -
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thank you.
Yes, it does. I keep wondering what happened to those little kids in diapers... it's not fair, really. I want to keep them babies forever. Now my daughter asks for makeup instead of baby dolls and my oldest son wants a cell phone and MP3 player.
Where did the time go?
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when they are little they make your arms ache when they are big they make your heart ache - my grandma always said that and i never understood it as a wee child
as a mum i sure do. mine are 22 and 16 this year and the time has flown in a blink [mixed metaphor!]
this is absolutely fantastic -
elaine
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They always seem to grow up way too fast, and we, as parents just want them to stay young.
This is a beautiful poem and as a parent I can relate, excellent work!
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I have to agree with drk down there. This is a wonderful portrayal of the oft-regretful transcendence from childhood, into adult-hood... a passage of entitlement, and yet, one my fiancee and I regret with equal expression regarding our six year old. I think this is a very worthwhile piece.
Good luck in your future endevors!
~Das -
Wow. What a really wonderful poem that you have here. You have a really nice way with words. It's kind of soothing. Is this about your daughter? What a wonderful poem for a mother to write her daughter because it seems so honest and filled with love and well wishes regardless of how life goes. You really project the light that she is when you look at her. What a wonderful mother you must be. You did a great job with this.
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This is excellent. And meant to be read aloud. Mmmmm. I've been reading so much of blossoms lately, we've all got a hankerin' for the flowers, it seems.
mine's only going to be three. Gosh, seven? Yikes! I love the last lines, by the way. Yes, I feel that way, too - exactly like that.
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Sigh!
You have given me a new favorite tied with "the cloud game" This made me cry like a baby, cause I remember those days and now a Granddaughter to take her place and cause the same feelings.....all over again.....
Meli, this is wonderful, and your baby, she looks and IS so miuch like you. I see it in her eyes.....
Love ya...I have to go get kleenex and bookmark this.,...
Lynda
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..wow..
This is so beautiful.
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you like?
I wasn't sure about this. I started it in Feb. but kept playing around with it, never quite sure of it.
I haven't posted anything in so long I figured I should get something up. I've been so -blah- lately... -
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Nah... the wow was just a typo
I -love- !
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