She used to be one of those girls,
That cut up her arms and legs.
She used to be one of those girls,
That said she'd be better off dead.
She used to be one of those girls,
For whom no one seemed to care.
She used to be one of those girls,
That wallowed in her own despair.
She used to be one of those girls,
That always seemed to be sad.
She used to be one of those girls,
Until he saw the potential she had.
She used to be one of those girls,
But he made her smile and laugh.
She used to be one of those girls,
I speak on her behalf.
She used to be one of those girls,
Until he got down on one knee.
She used to be one of those girls,
Now that "used to be girl" is me.
Author notes
I used to be so depressed...but now my life is looking up and I'm getting married in June. It just shows you that no matter how down in the dumps you are, things always will get better...just keep going.
In a list
Give me any pointers, I'm open to criticism.
Comments
1 - 52 of 52
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This is an awesome poem! I absolutely loved it!
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this is a good poem
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bravo
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Congratulations on your engagement! There's a lot of hope in this, and it's a message that I know many will connect with. It brings hope to others, and that marks a really good write. Well done
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im that girl 2 this is a excellent poem i relate to it alot keep up the good writing
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i can so relate because i wqas like that and i still sort of am but now i have my bf and today he told me he want to marry me someday
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Wow. I love the way you wrote that. The rhyme is well done and the poem in general. I'm glad things are looking up for you. It sucks to be like that, but I kind of see this as a bit of hope that one day I will be able to say the same. The girl that used to be. Great poem.
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brilliant! Awesome, marvellous!
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A nice affirmation. This poem is very nice and uplifting. I like the reflections it percieves on what life can be and what it used to be.
Very well done!!
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CHENTE-ANNI
She used to be one of those girls,
Until he got down on one knee.
She used to be one of those girls,
Now that "used to be girl" is me, Very wonderful write!!! LO-AMO SALUTE!!!!! -
Awsome...
i love it.. it juss makes you think.. you did a darn good job on this poem... congragulations on your wedding hope all goes well... and i agree with 'our souls are one' wonderfully written..
chloe
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wonderfully written. i can understand to a certain extent but i know what you're talking about. congrats on your marriage!! ^_^
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wow
totally amazing Great. I love the way you worded this poem. Thanks for the read
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thank you for writing this, I can totally relate. I wish you the best in your marriage (even though it's a little early as of right now!)
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I so agree, as I used to be one of those girls, but that was solong ago.
Yes things can get better and my life did and I feel like the luckiest girl alive. The flow of this is great, the repeated sentance gave great depth.
Well done. and Congrat!
Angel x
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Fantastic
I can almost relate to this, but as of yet, have not found anyone to enjoy life with. I read this and realized just how open and honest this was written. Many happy blessings to you and yours, but I see that you have already been blessed.
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aww
I loved it and I connect to it even if I never cut myself. But I have been around ppl that has and I have seen the nasty residue that it leaves behind. I'm so glad that that girl used to be you. also that you found someone that believes in you, I am still seeking but I won't give up cause I know that he is out there waiting for me too. great read and that is why I said awww cause over all it's a happy ending.
hope to read more from you.
::huggs&kisses::
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Awe, this is so sweet. You can really tell that that 'special' guy has changed yeah!! Sweet write!
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oh my! this is amazing.. it gave me goosebumps!! I wasent expecting that ending. It really hit home for me. Thanks for sharing
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Wow
I can really relate and this poem really speaks to me. It feels gives me some hope that maybe in the future things will look up. It was well written too. Good job. -
excellent piece
you have done an excellent job here.. Congrats on your up and coming marriage.. Many blessings for you and your future husband..
Yvonne
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Very good. Glad things are going good for you.
Nice write. -
Wow!!
This is fantastic! I absolutely loved it and I can relate. The rhyme was wonderful and didn't seem forced at
all! Well done and thanks for sharing!
<3BeautifulDisaster9
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This is really a good poem because, not only does the rhyming not get in the way of the true meaning, but it speaks out to a lot of people who have been in the same situation. I know I have been. :]
Very good job, keep it up, Doll! <3
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wow i know exactly how that is i used to be the same way until' i met my boy friend. Thanks
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I like the theme. It's certainly true that finding love can turn a dark world bright! It's quite lovely how you show how a person can be changed when they are valued and appreciated. The message is uplifting and relevant to all of us.
The transition of a person from self destructive to self fulfilled, from depressed to elevated, from despairing to joyous is clearly seen. It is hopeful and life affirming. Ilove that.
The poem has a good rhythm and the lines are fit together well. I love the way "I speak on her behalf" stands out. The shorter line grabs your eye because it is contrasted against the uniformity in the look of the rest of the poem. That works well because the line itself is quite different in that it is the first time you use "I" as a pronoun. That makes it really jump out and gives a clue as to who this girl might be. Nicely done.
The last line is a little ambiguous. In the context of your page it works to say what you want it to say because of the flowery imagery on the page (hinting at love and life) as well as your author notes giving explanation of your inspiration of the poem. However if I were to read just the words of the poem on a blank page with no explanation, I would likely misinterpret that last line. (Now that "used to be girl" is me) might seem to be saying that the girl you were writing about (as "she" pronouns) was a friend that had found love and was transformed but you are now what "she" used to be. In other words, you have now become depressed and despairing (possibly because you have lost your friend as she now spends all her time with this man who loves her). Or perhaps "she" took the man that you loved and that's why you are "Now that used to be girl". It is the inclusion of the word "Now" in that last line that could possibly lead readers to think these things. I think that if "Now" was left out of that last line it would be more clearly expressing your intended meaning.
Thanks for sharing such an uplifting poem.
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i really like this poem, mainly due to the fact its got a nice ending. You sound abit like my girlfriend, i hope i can make her as happy as your fiance makes you
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This is very good, and the rhyming is excellent. I like the moral your poem has. Keep writing, Meggh xxxxxxxxxxxx
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wow.
this poem is really good. i love the words you use.
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wow, I really like this poem. It's sad, but it can be really true. I remember feeling that way alot myself. It's nice to know that your not alone with thoughts like those.
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wow i think that this is a very good poem. I think that it is very emotional and sad. I am happy that you are no longer like that nad i know just what you mean when you said that you thought that no one cared and who is always sad. I think people can really connect with this and i like it alot!nice work!!!
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wow that was great!!! at first i just thought it was another emo poem, but by the end, my mouth was gaping in love for this poem. great job. keep it up!!!!
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It's funny how a moment or one person can change everything about you. Very well written and beautiful.
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beautiful...
This is so good. I loved it. Mainly because I can relate to it so very much. I used to be one of those girls and sometimes that girl comes back into play but then something happens like me meeting my husband or the birth of my three daughters to turn my life around. Hope is a wonderful thing to have, and sometimes life can take it away and in an instant it can bring it right back when you think it doesn't exist. Beautiful write.
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This is a beautiful piece of writing, and one that I can relate to so very much! You have expressed yourself so well, and the positive outlook at the end was very pleasing. Thankyou for sharing this poem
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This is wonderful in the true sense of our art. This piece has a flow that is smooth and metered. I was able to read it through without having to stop and read it again to ponder the thought. It has a deep emotional image with a simplistic presentation. Well done poet; I enjoyed it very much.
Love,
Amera
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like a song developing from tragedy into happiness
Tragedy turned into happiness. This song-like poem may be a great comfort to many people. It's a confession, it's very personal and sounding truthful. Th "used to be girl" was saved at last by a man who showed his love to her.
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The beauty of this, is in it's simplicity and repetitive lines. Glad things are now going your way. Good write. sj
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Great introspective look at how love dragged you out of the shadows of depression and self abuse. The repetition of the line "She used to be one of those girls" gives the closing line so much more impact than if it had not been written this way. Awesome write, thanks for sharing.
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great job!~
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That was very nicly written, I'm glad your life has brightened, and congrats on the engaement. All teh best to you. It gives you hope.
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That was beautiful! The absolute waiting for the hope at the end of the story was holding me in suspence to hope that you had survived this tragic response to life. Absolutely astounding I loved it!
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wow it made me cry. it meade me realize that i do have potential. i love it so much. im nominating u for front page. definitely
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YOU ARE SO AWESOME, IT FELT AS THOUGH YOU HAVE READ MY MIND, I WAS MOLESTED MOST OF MY LIFE I HAVE FELT ALL THOSE THINGS AND ALL IT TOOK WAS A BLIND DATE WITH THE MOST WONDERFUL MAN.WHO IS NOW MY WONDERFUL HUSBAND, IT SUPRISING TO SEE THE CHANGE IN YOURSELF WHEN LIFE TRULY GOES IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION I THINK YOUR POEM WAS AWESOME IT IS GOING IN MY FAVORITE SECTION RIGHT AWAY!!!!!!!IF I HAD ANY APPLAUSES LEFT I WOULD SO GIVE THEM TOO YOU!!!!!!!BRAVA!!!!!! GOOD LUCK IN JUNE!!!!!!
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YAYAYAY!! i love it! aww its so sad but its so hopeful and sweet and i love love love it. Its just amaizng. and your writing style is great and good.
rock on! -
A very touching work that I believe so many can relate to, that it touches everyones soul and brings back to life and reality. I loved this peice, especially when life decided to finally take a turn for the better!!!
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this is very uplifting... a story with a happy ending
your rhyme is fun
best wishes to you on your marriage
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That was really great. It shows how no matter how bad life gets, there is always that opportunity to turn it around. Congratulations on your engagement, and I hope you are both very happy in your future life together.
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You should definetly feel proud and hold your head high, you've gone through a lot. This is a great piece, I wish you the best poetess.
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i loved the poem and applaud your ability to see past the negative to a promising future good luck
and my congratulations on your upcoming wedding
dawn -
awesome. what hope and inspiration you bring to your writing. I believe everyone that reads this will be as moved as I was. Thank you for sharing it here today. I loved it. peace and light to you always in all ways....kendal palmer
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Refreshingly Optimistic
I was actually giddy when I finished reading. I expected to hear that she was dead. Sometimes things do work out for the best.
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