Trembling breath escapes my heart tonight,
escaping slowly, seeking to find you.
My words, staggering from drunken passion,
desire to find your listening ears.
Standing in front of the mirror's sweet face,
I long to see you standing beside me.
With arms of the gentlest strength I've known,
your embrace could catch me as I stumbled.
My heart, lonely for the love you bring me,
sheds silent tears that land in pools beneath.
Were you here, we could swim there together,
splashing, laughing, playing as children do.
My eyes warble as I re-read these words,
for I can not believe I've told you this.
My body grows sluggish waiting right here,
where I'll be should you decide to join me.
A contest entry
- "Am I suppose to be happy with all i ever wanted, it comes with a price" by fire angel 088.
333 points, ended April 11, 2007, 20 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I like the image of words drunken with passion. A mirror has a sweet face - interesting. Swimming in tears - well you pulled that one off with grace. Oops - I guess you spilled the beans with the last verse. Nice form overall - four fours - moves well.
-
Nice
I like how in the 3rd stanza, you went from tears that land in pools to children laughing and playing. I enjoy how you transition through images in your works and how you fill them with emotion that other can relate to. Nicely done.
-
-
thank you sweetie. i guess the transition is because tht is what i want so much to be. but, i suppose it never will. thank you again for your comment. viyanna rosemarie
-
Adding your comment:
