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Love from a Lonely Boy

Your aroma surrounds me, overtakes me.
Your scent coating my lips with the sweet smell of lust.

Your stare pierces me down to the bone.
Your voice seduces me so softly.

Your whispers are but a gentle persuasion,
leading me toward the end of days.
Your face is frozen, never changing, never deforming.

Perfect in everyway, it smiles.
Though dead inside, it warms me and I finally understand why god made life.

To find someone as beautiful and sensual as you.
To cherish and love you, until my rusted soul can finally rest.

I now know life'll be okay.
I'm brave enough now, for me to say:


"You are the girl that movies only portray and fake.
You are the girl I dream of when I'm awake.

You are the trapped girl I want to free.
I'm just a guy standing in front of you,
asking you, to love me."

Author notes

I'm so sorry about the ending. I hate it. this has soo many cliches, and the ending is inconsistent with it's rhymes all of a sudden showign up. But I can't get rid of it, I never erase work. I learn from it.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • BlaqkAudioBabe
    March 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i like it . . . i think the endong is kinda different, but isn't different good ?


  • Sam-Heartagram
    July 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    nice dude
    good flow and easy to follow


  • WickdlyUndrstanding
    March 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is definately hopelessly romantic, its sad.. lol you sound like a nerd!
    ~Toys


  • Ice queen 17
    March 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    good job i loved it very awesome thnks for entering good luck


  • Bella Luna
    March 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I love how detailed it was and I could feel the passion. There is so much emotion porring out of it. I loved it. keep writing your amazaing

    P.S. this is Chels


  • bethan-gaze
    March 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Believe it or not, I am old enough to remember these feelings! I don't think they ever really leave you to be honest (here we go ...). Your poem is built on the foundation of love and hope and throughout the piece you allow the reader inside your head to experience your angst, your desire, your ultimate goal ... and the ending sums it up in a nutshell. I really like the articulation in the lines: "You are the girl that movies only portray and fake. You are the girl I dream of when I'm awake" (such a clever line dream/awake). Lucky girl!


  • Girl Mad As Birds
    March 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Ooo this gave me shivers. This is a beautiful piece of writing

    Your whispers are but a gentle persuasion,
    leading me toward the end of days.
    Your face is frozen, never changing, never deforming.

    Perfect in everyway, it smiles.
    Though dead inside, it warms me and I finally understand why god made life.

    I love those lines there especially, great poem

1 - 7 of 7