There was a time
when I felt hopeful
A ray of light
did shine in...
those days were
long ago...
when I was young
there was so much
that I didn't know
Now the days
weigh heavily
upon me...
like a dark blanket
covering me
and it is difficult
to recall the times
when life held promise
of something new
Every once in a while
I peek out from
the black void
that surrounds me
and I think
and I question...
Is that a glimmer
or a spark
that I see?
Dare I believe?
A memory
coming back to me
of childhood dreams?
And I ask that child
what has become
of me...?
She answers...
You are what I see
Be with me-
And we will
be free
and happy
once again
and make Life
new once more
Be my Friend?
Kareneisenlord (c) March 17, 2007
A contest entry
- Child Abuse: What words can you give children for hope? by Nicada.
950 points, ended August 14, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
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that was swee
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I love the poem but I am sorry to know that you think children don't know whats happening in the world. Alot of children go through so much pain even before they are old enough to go to school. if i have misunderstood your poem i am sorry but that is just how it feels to me.
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We do have to go back and remember, and make friends with that little child in all of us. An emotional and sad write with some glimmers of hope. Thanks for entering my contest. Blessings, Patty
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wow this is a beautiful piece of writing. The natural flow that you have created is so peaceful and mixes perfectly with the hidden meaning behind the words. I am not even 20yrs of age yet and I have already wished many times to be young again, when things were black and white, no grey areas. and a simple kiss or hug from a loved one could make all the pain disapear.
beautiful write.
All the best
~Hollow~ -
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Thank you for reading this poem, dear. It's been a while since any one has; and you certainly graced it with your wonderful and sensitive being. I value and appreciate that. I know what you mean. It seems like all of my yesterdays were more innocent and carefree than my today. Then again, that may be an illusion. I am beginning to think that it is all a state of our own mind that we have the power to create, re-create, believe or disbelieve.
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I like this poem. when we are kids, we are so nieve about the world around us being cold and harsh, but as we grow up, we definitely learn...but here you are trying to reconnect with that child, that innocence and the hope that comes with it.
Its a good idea.
Thanks for entering!
S -
your title and the intro of this write is what brought me in, because as we get older, often we cry for the little girl that used to be, and wonder where she's gone, but when you look deep inside, you find that she's still there, and still your friend
Well Done,
Sincerely,
Sassy
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:)
I understand where your coming from,this one is amazing :]You are an amazing writerr
isnt it funny when we grow up we wanna be young again and when we are little we want to be olderrwe cant rush life,but anyways great writee
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Wow. Amazing write. Such strength and emotional depth
Stay safe
~Amanda
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sounds much like a story
i like the contast between the first and second stanza. light, dark. hope, lack of.
It seems like life experiences, and in general, not so pleasant ones, experiences that away hope, that devestate you... make you question everything. uncertainty and fear take over. "Dare i believe?"
last two stanzas bring the first and second together. Pretty interesting
This sounds more like a story. It has those hopeless momements, yet that child innocence as well, as you show with questions like "be my friend?"
Pretty nice
I enjoyed it.
Best wishes,
AlbaSoul -
Awww... I just loved this. You have filled my mind with some great imagery and deep thought. Very well done my friend. Thank you for sharing and best wishes to you. Keep that pen handy dear poet. ~Midnight Lace
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WOW
this is an idea ive toyed with and wrote quite a bit about, losing yourself to darkness, just dropping down and letting go, but then you resurface, or you try, and then things become so strange you find you cant find your safe haven but in this new world you could survive.
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I love the idea behind this piece-your attempt to reconnect with your childhood. When we are children we are all blissfully ignorant of the dark things of the world, including the ones in which we will be ensnared. I think that this is a wonderfully unique and original poem that deserves recognition. Great job!
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Wonderful
What a wonderful piece. I love how you wrote" I peek out from the black void that surrounds me" Thats such a beautifully dark line. Great work on this one
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Interesting piece to be certain, nice flow to it and I like that you ahve added the touch of hope and love in this piece. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e
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BRAVO
And we will
be free
and happy
once again
and make Life
new once more
Be my Friend? Wonderful write, salute!!!!!!!!
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WELL DONE, GREAT POEM !!!!! I THINK WHEN YOU ARE DEPRESSED YOU BECOME A PRISIONER IN YOUR OWN DARK THOUGHTS AND IT SEEMS AS THOUGH NOTHING COULD GET YOU OUT, BUT I TELL YOU IT WILL NOT !!! GREAT IMAGERY
Every once in a while
I peek out from
the black void
that surrounds me
and I think
and I question...
Is that a glimmer
or a spark
that I see?
Dare I believe?
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what can i say
wow wow wow wow...this is just simply amazing...i kindda hesitated a bit when i read that it was sad but boy am i glad i clicked the link!!!!great poetry...this is just sublime!!!I'm left speechless...great great great job keeep it coming
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this is a great poem... these are the thoughts that usually save me from a deeper than normal depression... it speaks with great power to me... good luck with your future writes
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It is my hope that others will be inspired through my poem "Hopeful" to reconnect with their inner child self. I am coming out of a depression that almost killed me. This is heavy stuff and it really works!
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With the way things are today you have to try to look forward and not behind you, and you have to try, and be so much more then you think you can. AMAZING I loved it!!!!!!
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I believe that we are the sum total of our past and we use all of that, good or bad...and transform it now into tomorrow and what we will become in the future. Your encouragement is gratefully taken, and your right...it is turning out to be more than I ever imagined. It's exciting!!!!
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So is there hope? i dont know yet but i hope to find it. great poem, sometime i want to read on a rainy day.
xoxox -
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I like to think that there is hope. I struggle with this concept every day...and I don't want to let my little one down. Now, that we are friends.
It's something to think about on a rainy day...
I appreciated your honest comment to this poem. Take care and blessed be!
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very powerful
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Thank you for reading my poem "Hopeful". I appreciated your input.
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Wow. This was such a powerful write. Bravo. I think that you have a real gift for words and I think that you have an afinity for poetry. I wish that you would write more in the future like this. The words that you used adeptly showed your feelings and emotions. I absolutely love it!
--Nanners -
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Your encouragement to write more like "Hopeful" is appreciated.
I, also, want to be able to continue in this direction. It is my every intention.
Regards...
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wow!...talk a about a true progression of knowledge...I honestly felt a kinship when reading this. There have been days when I felt exactly like this (maybe even today) but mostly I dig in my heels and make every day my own. It takes a real effort...fighting the elements that rage against...depression, enemies, the world, time, etc.... but the effort always prevails and proves worth it...the key for me ahs been FOCUS...find out what it is you want and GO FOR IT! I wish for you nothing but the best...keep reaching for the stars...you are worth it! love and light, kendal
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on "Hopeful"
Interesting that you brought up "Focus". My mother's been gone for 25 years now, and that was the last thing that she said to me when she came to me in a dream over two years ago...this was just before someone else that I love died. This was her message, as well...for getting through the hard times. Every great philosophy teaches this wisdom and I think that being in "focus" is one of the great keys to all that is worthwhile in Life.
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Interesting to complement the many ways we reach out to our past... in a hopes that it will enable us to define a better future. I can find no flaw with this work. Good job.
Best wishes in your future endevors.
~Das -
great poem. i love the flow. so beautifully written
such innocence lost in it. take care
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beautiful
I think it is our life's work to be able to return to the innocence and joy of our childhood. I do believe it is possible not only to return but also to remain.
Beautiful and important. - joanne
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this is a very deep and sad write and yet filled with hope for the future, very good work , there are always things worth looking forward to keep it up, feed the child within with hope and be rewarded with laughter!
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