"Trust me," she says
As I follow the sound of her voice
She leads me through
deep
dark
woods
Scared, but eager to see
whatever it is
that she needs me to see
Blindly,
I follow
"Where are we going?"
"Soon you will see," she says.
"Almost there."
She leads me along paths,
dark
twisting,
turning every which way.
Finally,
there is a light
I run to catch it,
I need to catch it
Finally out of the dark,
but falling,
falling so fast
She catches me in her arms,
I know its her
I know her voice!
She tells me to push on
Keep running!
Keep fighting the darkness!
"Soon you will be out of the darkness,"
she says.
She lets me go,
I am falling helplessly again.
I awake,
with the first smile
that I have smiled
in such a very long time!
Author notes
**CONTEST***
#10) Other : depression, dreaming
***~~~***~~~***~~~***~~~
This poem is in a way about life...Being depressed. In the dream being taken through the darkness, twisting and turning, as you life does...only to find in the end that you realize that you have to keep going, you have to keep pushing on.
The last stanza :
"I awake,
with the first smile
that I have smiled
in such a very long time!"
...i awake finally knowing that everything will someday be okay, i can finally smile...
hope this helps!
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Dark and Hopeful!
A bad dream with a silver lining; great concept! Like the staccato form and the last stanza especially.
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Oh wow, this is wonderfully written. I love how easy it was so to follow, and how such simple words made up such a complex message. I really enjoyed reading this.
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another amazing poem. you have captured the thoughts and feelings perfectly. i love the way you display your work, it adds to the effect of the poem and makes it even better (if that's even possible!). The freeverse is a common form but not many people can write it as good as this.
My favourite part is:
"I awake,
with the first smile
that I have smiled
in such a very long time!"
The authors notes were also very helpful and show the thought behind the poem, just as they should.
well done and good luck with future poems!
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this poem is a way of life...
You've captured a daily struggle here...
for many people.
I love the way you crafted this.
This is so real,
heartfelt... necessary
well done, Kj -
Great way of catching your depression and putting it into words on paper. Very decriptive, Nice job. Good luck.
~Oka
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I could definately see the paralells in this piece. You have ended it on a really nice sentiment. I think that we all need that at certain times in our lives. Thank you for sharing your hope. keep up the great work. peace always...kp
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Yes, those twisting, turning darker days that seem endless at times, they go on and on. Nice to see in this the light at the end of the woods, and one comes up feeling more optimistic. Liked the way you wrote this - sentiments well expressed in these lines.
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WOW-JUST WOW
I have so many things that I would like to say to this poem actually, but for some reason the words are stuck like glue. This was so powerful and just full of truth. Depression IS that way, and Im having problems pulling myself out now, but This was a beautiful and powerful write and I REALLY enjoyed this. ps. my fav. stanza is the last one...it was great and just fit perfect to the reality...
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i liked this, the style and shape on the page suited it so well. sounded like a story, i enjoyed it. thanks for sharing, i hope you are still smiling.
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Why are you smiling? I don't get it. lol. most likely a blonde moment.
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