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Before Your Love

Blinded by tears as you
Entered my world
Forced to hide behind a mask,
Only I knew my pain.. You started by
Rebuilding my trust, picking up the pieces...
Evenings spent just talking

You never pressed for details.
Our friendship grew stronger,
Unique, set apart, we
Realized what we had overlooked so

Long. And now my biggest fears are no longer
Overwhelming, you've helped me conquer the
Very worst. I've never been this happy before. You make
Each and every day better than the last...

Author notes

option one in for my love contest... i read the entire contest page...

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • RIP Whoever
    May 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    zap~ well. if this contest isn't over, i wish the best for this awesome poem
    i LOVED the caring attitude that your guy has. it all seems really sweet, caring, and defiantly stable.

    JustADutchie has some Good advice. since poetry is a "way of life" so most, as well as being a major part of the "English Language" it's important to most that the grammar and spacings of the content is correct. (that's if you want mass pleasing. if it's just "your style," then i guess it's fine.)

    but the words. wow.
    i really liked the part where, in stead of running like most would when a girl's in a wreck. he actually helped you physically and spiritually.


  • Little Eagle Greeters member
    May 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Thank you for your entry

    Very beautiful and and moving. You love shines through this poem. It is the ones who we start off as friends with that turn into the true love.

    Thanks for the read and good luck.

    God Bless
    Tammy


  • JustADutchie gold member
    March 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Personally I don't like broken lines and specially not when there's a blanc line between them. It makes it very hard to read.

    Suggestion:

    Blinded by tears as you
    entered my world.
    Forced to hide behind a mask,
    only I knew my pain.. You started
    by rebuilding my trust, picking up the pieces...
    Evenings spent just talking

    You never pressed for details.
    Our friendship grew stronger,
    unique, set apart, we realized
    what we had overlooked so long.

    And now my biggest fears
    are no longer overwhelming,
    you've helped me conquer the very worst.
    I've never been this happy before.
    You make Each and every day
    better than the last...

    It's a good thing to be in love and your words show that. ~Titia~



  • BittersweetPhantasm
    March 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Blinded by tears as you
    Entered my world
    Forced to hide behind a mask,
    Only I knew my pain.. You started by
    Rebuilding my trust, picking up the pieces...
    Evenings spent just talking

    I love that first stanza - again this is very well written.

    well done.