ESSENCE
Wasted time
trickles down a crystal-cold mountain stream
Then in joining -
Floats lightly – seems almost to hover
Over the lake’s blue stillness;
Restless, it flits with dragonfly wings
Courts the subtle pine scent
That whispers of a forest banquet,
Sword-heavy tree-tops
Furry squirrel play
And contemplation.
But time isn’t wasted
Thoughts cast adrift
Can be profound
Can echo – ‘cross the world
And in a moment translucent
With suspended God-breath
Whooshhhhh -
Beauty makes
a difference.
Author notes
Inspired by two of the wonderful quotes listed in this contest: by Ernest Zula to actually write it "I am the fragment of a mirror, whose whole design & shape I do not know - nevertheless, with what I have, I can reflect light into the dark places of the world." and
the content by David Caldwell "Remember the first word you ever learned - the biggest most important word of all: Look"
A contest entry
- Reaching For Meaning by Sokarjo.
600 points, ended March 18, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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Dear J...THIS IS A GREAT POEM beginning to end..How you brought everything together for both prompts, and your imagery is par excellence! I am so glad I read tonight...Keep penning luv..
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Fantastic!
Fantastic imagery and beautiful expression. In particular, from "But time isn't wasted...through the end of the poem.......so striking that I feel I could read it repeatedly.
Likewise, the Author notes.......
"Look" is the most important word of all. Thanks for sharing.
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once again..this is awesome....i love your writing...i love hopeful...i love that someone chooses to fight instead of laying down and accepting!!
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this brought tears to my eyes
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It's so easy to lose yourself in te beauty of nature surrounding; your poem jusrtifies that feeling with lovely imagery. A pleasure to have read this; thank you for sharing it. You have great talent.
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Restless, it flits with dragonfly wings
Courts the subtle pine scent
That whispers of a forest banquet,
Sword-heavy tree-tops
Furry squirrel play
And contemplation.
But time isn’t wasted
thsi piece stirs the senses... intoxicating
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AWESOME.....................
is this piece of poetry!!!!!!! It is filled with a poetic flair and a genuine essence!!!There is such beauty in your imagery leading your readers all the way through this poem.It also has an analytical point of view causing alot of though provacation. You just did an awesome jb all the way throughout this entire piece!!!Thanks so much for sharing your heart with me today!!!!~~Toni~~
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I love the thought of reflecting the dark and light - I think that we definately do that - You have written an incredible piece here. The imagery is absolutely breathtaking!! I especially loved this part: "Restless, it flits with dragonfly wings
Courts the subtle pine scent
That whispers of a forest banquet,
Sword-heavy tree-tops
Furry squirrel play
And contemplation."
We should all remember to look around us and take the world in..thanks for the reminder!
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Wow. That was marvelous. The imagery and the transcendence between time and nature was incredible. Well written, flows beautifully, thoughtfully impacts. Write on!
~*~SP~*~
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You
have great talent and it shows in detail throughout your work. Keep penning, I will continue to check back for more. Gr8 job
E
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beautiful
as many others have commented about....the poem is amazing. there is such imagery depicted in this piece. I love the idea of the whole poem (and the quotes mentioned in the authors section).
fantasitc job!!!
S -
Can echo – ‘cross the world
And in a moment translucent
With suspended God-breath
Whooshhhhh -
Well a profound truth and the structure of the immages of the life can be seen in the poetry here touching the universal arena here and now and that is the strength of this amazing poem indeed...I loved its pace and its flow of the meaning as well..this is a wonderful poem my friend well done...
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Excellent piece with some
beautifully vivid imagery
here. Great work and thanks
for sharing this one here!
Jeremy0826 -
well this is just beautiful and the last line! oh my gosh! its so amazing so so amazing. "beauty makes a difference" what a lovely line. kudos to you for it!
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Oh wow this is truly beautiful. It is as if I can see exactly what you are describing and feeling the feelings you have put within this work. Nicely done!
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WOW
This is really wonderful. I really felt I could smell the pine needles. Ending is perfect
'Beauty makes a difference'
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Excellent
Such vivid imagery I love to stroll within the minds of the free at heart called poets for they truly speak of the esseance of joy and life
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Excellent piece, loved the imagery. Wasted time changed so beautifully. Loved the flow
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This was very interesting to read. I've never really read a poem like this before, and i enjoyed reading yours.
Furry squirrel play
And contemplation
^^that had to be one of my favorite lines. keep on penning!!
:] -
I love the way this poem is written. The structure and word choice is very advanced. Beautiful piece, the imagery is well done. Great job!
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Oh this was beautifully done. Loved the pause and effect. Great job. Nice structure. Looking forward to reading more. -Inc."
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WELL DONE!
Excellent write!
You have a magical way with words my friend!
My favorite part is-
But time isn’t wasted
Thoughts cast adrift
Can be profound
Can echo – ‘cross the world
And in a moment translucent
With suspended God-breath
Whooshhhhh -
Beauty makes
a difference.
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Great!
Every good work here, some great imagery and writing used that really impressed me! Keep up the good work! -
this work is quite interesting. very discriptive. very to-the-point. good job.
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Shifting the visions of surrounding calm...
Beauty found within Nature's realm.
I loved this! Blue
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good
thank you blue rew for your thoughtful comment. and for
reading my poem. I really appreciate it. I would give you 3 stars for the comment but i dont know how.
jingle -
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You just click on the stars next to my comment on your "comments" page! I didn't know how either for awhile.
Blue
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Very beautiful, great imagery. Thanks for this excellent entry.
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sokarjo, thank you for your kind comment. I enjoyed your contest even though I didn't place.
jingle
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this is truly beautiful;
Beauty makes
a difference.
what a wonderful line! this is a very powerful piece full of wonderful imagery. the only thing bothering me is the line
trickles down a crystal-cold mountain stream
it just seems a bit too long to fir with the rest of the poem.
though this is of course up to you
overall a great write
lucy
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great
Lucy Sky-diamond - thank you so much for reading my poem
and the comment. I really appreciate it. and I would give
you 4 stars for your comment if I knew how to. I still
haven't figured out much - how this site works - haven't been very successful with its nuts and bolts but eventually I will.
Jingle
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i thought i had entered it into this contest but somehow it didnt at first so i entered it again and it seems to have taken
jingle
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