The wave becomes a tsunami,
as I slap your arse playfully.
Ripples go as far as the
rolls of fat around your neck.
You revel in the massage
as my expert fingers knead,
moaning hoarsely into the pillow,
whimpering at the expertise.
Never mind my back tits,
you shout out eagerly
it's my bum that needs your hand,
get to it now, please.
As much as I love you,
I swallow down my gorge-
the texture of your ass cheeks
is like orange peel and
cottage cheese.
The hairs as coarse as nylon
almost down to your knees.
The stench of winnets make
my nose recoil in total horror...
...But then that thing happens,
when you forget about everything,
the more rotten the better
when dick begins to rule.
I slip a digit or two in there
and find resistance very close,
you squeeze your cheeks gently
and turtle out the turd.
I rub it back in your skin and
mount you in excitement,
making you squeal like a pig,
as I fuck you like a dog.
A contest entry
- Buttocks (You know you love them) by Edna Sweetlove.
410 points, ended April 4, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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wow... Edna musta loved this.
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Speaking of swallowing down my gorge...
Ass cheeks like orange peel and cottage cheese is a very vivid image, and I could have done without being reminded of German scheize porn before breakfast.
Oh well. Whiskey works wonders.
Outstanding.
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I can never apologise for my art!
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I like the tsunami line. An unfortunate thing, that tsunami from a few years back. The restaurants are still closed as the staff still haven't washed up.
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Wasn't it, though?
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My god you could park your bike in there. 'As I fuck you like a dog' is so romantic I came in my cornflakes. But then, it had to be romantic after the turd bit.
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It was a difficult write, I had to forget my poetic pretensions (and pray none of my 'poet pals' saw this)
And then... write another four poems ever so quickly, so this epic slid off the page.
Having said that, I rather like it. -
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I can think of no better way to describe this than; 'slid off the page'
Bravo. I rather like it as well.
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winnets...he he they winnet come off. good luck in the contest
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I find this to be one of your finer writes. The last line or two are virtual corkers.
I have a couple of queries re this section...
"The hairs as course as nylon
almost down to your knees.
The stench of winnets make
my nose recoil in total horror..."
I assume "course" is a careless drunken typo for "coarse". But what is a winnet? I am not going to go to Google to find out as I have read Google keep records of all searches and until I know what a winnet is I am not risking it. I might get arrested by the paedo police if it's something truly awful.
I have to applaud if only for the last line.
I forgot: LOVELY photo! Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.
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Indeed- that was a typo. A winnet is another word for klinkers, or cling ons.
Bum nuts, in other words. -
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Tagnuts! Fartleberries! Klingons! Botsnots!
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A google search yielded this on 'arsepedia':
Dangleberries, butt nuts, arse grapes.
The Encrusted bits of poo which hang around encrusticating the anal beard, particularly after a long exercise. Much fun can be had picking these, squashing them to release the juicy centre, and then using them as the basis for a slightly insipid skiff. Winnet removal can be a painful process involving the removal of much hair and possibly even drawing blood for the hard men, others stand under the shower or hang thier arse over the sink and repeatedly wash their cracks with soap and/or anti-tangle shampoo until the winnets have ceased and desisted.
Splitarses in general do not suffer this problem, unless they are exeptionally hairy beasts.
The ultimate winnet is one which will bridge the gap between the cheeks, and obscure the entrance to B-range. This particular winnet will then grow like a particularly malignant tumour after every evacuation, and will prevent proper wiping, particularly when using Clint Eastwood. This can, in extreme cases, lead to complete obstruction of the chocolate starfish, with all its attendant problems. Removal will result in much wailing and gnashing of teeth, or indeed semi-surgical removal involving a pair of nail scissors.
It is alleged on the wall of the armoury in a certain camp on Salisbury Plain that a Pte Blogs eats winnets from dead men's arses.
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I am indebted to you. Arsepedia was hitherto unknown to me. It is a very fine website; illiterate but still very fine.
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The dictionary is particulary impressive.
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bloody fantastic!
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See what you mean - but it's good and should do old Edna proud, as it's just up her street! The mix of sex and muckiness works well. Unfortunately that picture looks rather like one of my colleagues at work, which is a bit off putting! Good luck in the contest.
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The picture looks like a friend at work? Where do you work? At the freako sauna?
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