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Say, God... (Acrostic Sedoka)

Say, God, are you there,
Amused by not answering
Your creation's earnest pleas?

God, I know you hear
Oblivious humans who
Do not understand your plans.

Author notes

In this poem the word "say" is used in as an interjection like "by the way."

An acrostic is a poem in which the first letters of each line spell a word or words. In this case "Say God." A sedoka is a form that consists of two katauta or stanzas of three lines with the syllable counts 5/7/7. Generally the first stanza examines a topic from one angle and then the second flips it around and observes it from another or opposite angle. They don't usually rhyme.

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11
  • drifting cloud silver member
    April 2

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    Nice. There is work behind getting this just so. Good work. hmm... God is answering us all of the time, but we don't recognize it. We expect His answer to be a certain way.

  • Jason-R-Britt
    April 2
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    Very clever! I enjoyed it.


  • HerbalGoat
    March 31, 2007

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    I like how your poem wasn't just about those who do believe in God and that you also mentioned those who don't. Thanks for taking my challenge.


  • Heavens Child
    March 21, 2007

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    Love it! Very creative, I love how you used the slang, it's very impactive. And it oh so true, we humans just don't understand. The best of luck in the contest. Well done.

  • Nanna B
    March 19, 2007

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    I like it. I am not sure I have completely grasped the full meaning of your poem. Thank you so much for sharing. I see such powerful emotion.

    --Nanners


  • Don Michael gold member
    March 18, 2007

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    If there wasn't an explanation of Acrostic Sedoka, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed this poem as much as I do. As a new form to me, and your poem being the first of which I've read, I find it quite appealing. I'm quite impressed


  • Tirrell
    March 18, 2007

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    Very nice and glad to see the success you have had with this combination of forms. I often find acrostics sounding quite unnatural, yet here it works really quite well. Best of luck with the contest.

  • Corr
    March 18, 2007

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    I think this piece was beautiful. Mentioning God was nice. I think there is too much unsaid in this, but the meaning is clear. I can read the indirect words in this. A very well written piece with intense emotions and splendid choice of wordings.

    "Oblivious humans who
    Do not understand your plans. "

    Love this verse. Says too much; says the truth; says it all. Amazingly done once again. I like spiritual poems. Small but straight to the face.

    I hope you believe and trust God. God is everything. You get everything and nothing fomr God. I believe God is everything. Hope you don't take offense. Keep writing...
    _-Corr-_


    • Ontarah
      March 18, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I do believe and trust God, but it is a huge faith stuggle for me. I want to believe him and have strong faith, but I have to constantly fight to do so. It often comes out in my poems.


  • Minorchar
    March 18, 2007

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    I liked this. The shift in angles from the first stanza to the second was good. I like that you were able to combine two forms of poetry, meet the standards of both, AND make it a good poem.


  • Spiritvision angel
    March 18, 2007

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    I enjoyed this "Say God" write . With little words spoken you have a powerful write! Well done.

1 - 11 of 11