Dancing barbarically upon the jutting rock,
In praise of the chaotic sea.
As it thrust-ed foam at her lovely silhouette,
Her lips were moistened a lusty red.
Savoring it with apathy,
Nothing could compare to the dance.
Uncannily, early each morn she would arrive,
When the sea would be frothy and wild.
Standing brilliantly, regally upon the rock,
She writhed so disturbingly, as within a dream.
The sounds of a distance harp from the nearby coast,
Whirled about her stormy hair.
It, too, took flight of it's own accord,
While she danced on...deviantly.
A contest entry
- Word Bank Fun by Dreamy Green Eyes.
500 points, ended April 8, 2007, 22 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Your Personal Best #3 (Prewrites Allowed) by aGent Lemon.
360 points, ended March 21, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give It all you've Got (pre writes allowed) by Dark Whispers.
318 points, ended March 31, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your very best! by Carly Pop.
450 points, ended April 3, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For the love of god CONFUSE ME by h202.
450 points, ended February 10, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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is option 3 for my contest??? only option 3 is a fresh write option and this is a freewrite!! im gonna ahve to dq this but please re enter when its sorted .. ohh theres also a min entry of 2 poems xxx
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Congratulations on your award
well done and thanks for sharing
warm thoughts
Frozentearz -
I have to say you write brilliantly even though the poem is not my taste, yet that doesn't take away the talent you posses! thanks for entering
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excellent~
Love how you penned this one....
Once again your imagery is outstanding in this daily ritual.....
Best of luck in the contest this is a winner in my book and the pic just adds to the poem...I am not online a lot but adding you to my favs...with my bone cancer I cant sit for long periods at a time but I do so love your writings....
Hugs
Susan~~~
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Wonderful write!
This is a brilliant write! I love the way you described the daily ritual of the character in this piece! Great imagery! And the picture fits the words so very well. Good luck in the contest! Best wishes...
Debi
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Weird.I have never read a poem like this, But I applaude you for being creating and unique when other are too scarde too. Great write. Best of luck in my contest.
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3 claps...9pts
Reward from The Poetic Bandits reading list
~Lilac
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Entrancing...
A clever use of a the word bank and much inspired by the picture...This is a beautiful piece and throws out some magical imagery to the reader...good freeverse, that reads like an entrancing story...thank you for sharing this with us today
Love and smiles
~Lilac
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I am not sure which compliments which more the pic to the words or vice versa...either way, well done poet!
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I guess that would be deviant dancing. I like the picture. It sets off the poem. I like the imagery as well. The words give a vivid description.
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some wonderful imagery within these lines! Emotional and with a message... I still see the images!
Wonderful penning!
Frogz~
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Fantastic imagery comes alive in these lines, my friend! This is wonderfully written and a charming descriptive dancing upon your page. I love the message woven with your words. Excellent!
~Lori
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What imagery!! fantastic write I have to give you 3 applauds for this one...Pen On
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wow this is awesome. it has such a unique style and it was very enjoyable to read. I found myelf drawn to the words and the picture is amzing aswell. very well written, you are but another one of many that is a talented writer. xShadx
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Thank you very much for entering this contest. I may add much more of a comment later on since there are so many other submissions.
You may want to keep in mind that I will try to open more of the same contests one after another if I can earn enough feedback to do so which I must say would be truly appreciated. Altogether, I hope this will also give everybody a glimpse at one of you're favorite accomplishments which hopefully in turn inspire them to look at what else you've got. -
What a unique interpretation of the picture and of the words in the word bank. We each find something different in these words, and use them as they relate to our experiences.
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personally sounds like a crazy woman to me. goin out on a rock by the sea and dancing...something out of karate kid. but im sure thers some inner deep stuff that im not in the state of ind to comprehend. good visual language. painted a clear picture in my head.
Good Write and God Bless
The Unrequited Writer
Ben B. -
A piece of free verse that is easy to understand, has poetic flow and an excellent tale to tell. done with
flair.
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This is an awesome picture! The girl totally reminds me of Stevie Nicks of Fleetwood Mac, I can almost hear her singing the song "Dreams" (Thunder only happens when its raining) You have done a great job of bringing the picture to life with your words.
Love & Light
Debbera -
The picture is very intriguing. I might break each of your lines into two or something though. I think it might make formatting look a little better. Nice description.
Whenever I hear "frothy" I think of Willy Wonka. -
You've used a very unique choice of adjectives that certainly give the poem a different personality. "dancing barbarically" "standing brilliantly" Interesting. I really like the "dancing deviantly" bit. It all does a good job of making her seem wild, fey, and inexplicable. Good write.
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Grand imagery and a lovely flow a challenging word bank you've done a excellent job here best of luck in the contest...
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Cute
A very good write. Short but with very good descriptive writing.
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Umm...Lovely
A pleasure reading it!
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Amazing!
Wow, this is simply great! The picture, just too good; the flow, perfect and the idea, genuine. U have bundles of talents in u, n i hope u do know that. Goodluck in the contest!
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Fantastic!
This is phenomenal! You did awesome work with this one. I love the picture and how creative you were with it, surrounding it with a sense of mystery. Good luck, but you won't need it with this piece!
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Delightful and mysterious
To have such shared emotions dancing would be most enjoyable. Great.
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Marvelous!
Absolutely love it! And it goes perfectly with the picture! (I think in the 3rd line, the lst word is supposed to be 'savoring'?) Great images, great wording. Good luck in your contest.
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Really awesome writing! I love the pic and the words written for it, a definite winner in my book! Best wishes in the contest
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I believe you paid homage to the "dance" with this one , as I feel that dancing is capable of transporting us into a different world temporarily. It has a way of making us forget our surroundings , be it that we dance with someone we love , or even by ourselves. That is what this write reminded me off. May I suggest that maybe you change a few off the sentences around a bot. Maybe you could do away with a few of the "she"[it is just my opinion that the write might have an easier flow then]I somehow seemed to focus to much on the "she" instead on the real underlying beauty of this write [the dance]This is merely a suggestion though and I do wish you the best of luck in the contest,
reenie
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i really like this one, beautifully written, with lovely imagery and ideas.
good luck in the contest
lucy
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