Hope

Give me one day. One measly day, where I don’t cry myself to sleep.
Give me one hour, where I don’t think about a happier life.
The screaming, the yelling.
The rumble of the voices.
Carrying me away to that special place.
That place where I don’t have to hide.
I can be myself, cry in someone’s arms, and live.
Where I can be happy and free,
Free from the chains of my existence.
‘But you’re only a child’ They say.
‘You do not know what it is to have loved, and to have lost.’
Little do they know.
For everyone, from the tiniest baby, to the most troublesome teen,
Has experienced love.
Has experienced loss.
So why can’t I know, what it is to love?
What it is to have lost?
The smallest child often has more wisdom, then the greatest philosopher.
Everyone cries, everyone feels pain.
But why should I go through it every day?
Do they even realise that it’s causing me pain?
That it is a struggle to keep going?
Everyday I feel worthless.
I feel hopeless.
I feel that no one cares.
Sometimes I want to give up.
Sometimes I try.
But there is something out there that keeps me going.
That stops me from ending my pain.
‘Maybe today’ I whisper every morning.
What is it that keeps me going?
What is it that keeps me sane?
What is it that stops me from breaking down into tears?
What is it?
Hope to be with him someday