I woke up to a storm this morning,
A "Winter Wonderland."
But the only thing I'm wondering
Is how things got this bad.
The snow is freezing my windows shut
Like prison bars of ice,
And I'm restless and I'm screaming
But it's trapped me here inside.
My anxious pacing is intervened
By my pounding on the glass,
Begging them to let me out
But their grip is tight'ning fast.
And each seductive voice I hear
Is so excruciating to fight.
"Let me bite your arm again,"
For example, lures my knife
"Let me light your soul on fire,
I'll help you ease your pain,"
Sings my vodka from the freezer,
Sweet on the tongue like acid rain.
Adding to this cacophony
Are the pills hiding upstairs,
Promising to numb more pain
Than mere monthly pre-menstrual despairs.
I can't take it anymore, I tear the door open
Where in the frigid air I find
The only place to silence the babel
Is where the north wind stings my eyes.
So I stand there crying in the cold,
Wishing you had never left,
Wishing I never had to hear these voices
Coaxing me to death.
And my body aches to breathe again,
To feel something more than numb
As I stare up at the blue-gray sky
In my universe of one.
Withe the shrill ringing of the phone
I cut off my meditation with a sigh,
Put off for another day
The contemplation of my suicide.
Author notes
Alternately titled "Contemplation of My Suicide."
Okay, first of all while I'm a bit of a comment junkie, this is a poem written to cope. I don't care if it flows or if there's spelling errors or whatever. Unless you actually know me, kindly shove those critiques up your ass.
That was a bit harsh, I'm sorry. I'm sure you're all nice people. I'm emotionally unstable, depressed, and in mourning and I feel that AP is one of the few places where I don't have to bother acting like I'm okay and have to smile and laugh like I'm fine when I'm not. So don't take my meanness personally, okay? I really do appreciate you taking the time to read this and comment it and such. Really.
In a list
First one in a while...
Comments
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Omg Stef. You already know how I feel about this. Its amazing. And trust me, it was worth the wait.
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love the poem hate the topic but it all seemed to fit in place here. you are a great poet with alot to say. this is expectedly unexpected if you know what i mean. never forget that my shoulder is always handy if you ever needth shed a tear or more. i love you always. bjx my darling.
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I think this was amazing. I am not the kind of person who repeatidly says this is your best, this is your best,...etc..., but this was....perfect.
I honestly think it sounds profesional
It so vivid and harsh, similar to the weather.
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