A dark etched hall,
echoing rows of seats rising
over single beamlit stage.
Dust stirs,
in the shadow-light beam
rests a lone Cello
discarded as skin
helpless child, the Cello lays
cracked, as a queen lost
bow-sceptered, laid with dust
gold-shining in the glow.
Long dead steps echo
'round as he takes his seat,
one lone Shadow amongst black
twin gray eyes peering in the dark
shining as the dust,
quivering as the bow, once.
And here, hands like a ghost,
rise she, the Cello, dust-angeled
o'er the floor,
as strings begin to drag
against strings.
And to he, the Cello sings:
"What a fool you are,
I'll take your breath,
I'll break your heart,
What a child you are,
My life is gone,
Now fall apart."
And as the Cello mourns
the Shadow's hands,
gloved in white,
dance,
one and two and
baton arcs 'round
as her lost conducter takes the reigns.
She sings:
"What a fool you are
I'll take your breath,
I'll break your heart.
What a child you are,
My life is gone,
Now fall apart.
What a fool you are
I'll break your love,
I'll take your light.
What a sin you are
To haunt my strings
From death to life."
Refrain.
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Very compelling. I enjoyed it.
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Excellent penning! Your imagery! I love how the last word of the first line in every stanza is the same. This was wonderful work and my pleasure to read
~Tia
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This is a beautiful piece you have written here. I love the rhyme scheme you have going here and the in depth imagery you use. It allows the reader to picture the scene perfectly. Great work!
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Beautiful!!
Reminds me of the time when I played the Cello. Just loved this!! <33
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THAT was beautiful.....
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Magical. The imagery was beautiful and spellbinding
An amazing poem, and I love the personification of the cello. It surely is a lovely instrument -
Amazing
This is just an incredible piece of writing!
I loved the lines
cracked, as a queen lost
bow-sceptered, laid with dust
gold-shining in the glow.
I could see the majesty in ruins in my mind.
WONDERFUL descriptions! Great job!
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Absolutely BEAUTIFUL. One of my life's goals is to learn to play the cello, and you just made me want to even more!!! This also painted a picture in my head of a relationship, where both parties have the power to break the other's heart into pieces.
"And to he, the Cello sings:
"What a fool you are,
I'll take your breath,
I'll break your heart,"
My favorite part, by far.
Very very very very nice!!!
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WOW
An absolutely stunning write, from beginning to end. You had me, hook, line and sinker! It actually reminded me of a scene from the movie, "Hilary and Jackie"... It's a really fucked-up story about two sisters, one of whom becomes obsessed with her cello and goes crazy when she gets MS [or something like that] and can't play anymore. The imagery in this piece is AMAZING, and you definitely deserve the spotlight. Well done!
Musically,
Laura, aka Immortal
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wonderful job heree<3 wonderful! kudos to you!
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Brilliant!
this poem is brilliant,Your use of words.They are sinsational!Bravo! -
Wee! I had to read it 'cause I be a fidd'ler! But I love the imagery.
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This is good--the phrasing is poetic and apt and the imagery imaginative. I would, however, agree with the reader who thinks that the second part is better. It's much more effective and haunting than the opening stanzas, which strive perhaps a little too much to be meaningful. Good work, though.
Bill
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Likeable imagry
bow-sceptered, laid with dust
gold shining in the glow.
This line is a little confusing to me as I wonder where the gold comes from, as it is ever so dusty and dark here. otherwise this is a good write. I like the second half, as they sing, a lot more then the first half. I just felt the first half was over descriptive to me.
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You're going on my favourites!
This is an absolute masterpiece. Your imagery is so enchanting! I love the personification of the cello and the imagery in the second and fourth stanzas. You have the kind of talent that most of us dream about. The following is pure genius:
"the Cello lays
cracked, as a queen lost
bow-sceptered,"
Do you know what's really striking about this? There was so much that was amazing about it that I actually have no idea how to structure a comment wthout going through saying 'awesome, awesome, awesome.'
~Faded
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Sweet! Good imagery. very effective. I really liked this one. You should check out Apocalyptica. They play rock music on cellos. They're very good.
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