In the mist’s of time
Lost a love story in mime
Which carved an example
In hearts of the young lovers
For their ample of love,
Whose gusts are in flowers?
It’s a tale to be known for all the lovers,
Where the zamindars ruled the lands
On left, so where the rich of less status
But same dignity where on right.
In their grounds, born a love story
Of a boy name Devdas and a girl name Paro
In time of not so ancient India,
The house of the zamindars was a mansion
In close, where the walls and pillars of marbles were carved
With silver, woods they used were sandals
The riches they had traditional, so the house was lit with candles
But nonetheless was their neighbour
Whose mansion was of glass and tender rose wood
Pillars were plain with border of gold
Children of these families played together
In love they had forever
But it was time for Devdas adieu
Ran the little legs of Paro screaming
But still couldnt stop the time which had to past
For thirteen years she awaits for her love
To see him to be man of honor
A man of law, ought to be a lawyer
Finally the time comes to meet
To see each other and greet
To show her loves endurance
Light a candle lasted thirteen years existences
Protecting it from the winds of unfaithful sins
From the rains of other kin
So time had came for a mother’s patience
Awaited so long for his beloved son’s sight
All the servants hastily shining the house bright
With love and sincere mind was the entire surrounding bound
Mother’s arrogant love denied else sight to be first
So her eyes be first to see her son
But to the lords that was not accepted
For Paro’s love won, Devdas legs endured first
To the neighbours house, eagerly searching looking
For his love, Paro’s heart started beating
As a woman she is now learned a lesson in shyness
As each step of Devdas march towards his love
Paro’s eyes shivered with innocent love
She opens her eyes to glimpse her lover
Now she saw a man as elegant he can be
Devdas search ends his sights found his lover
His eyes amazed at her striking beauty
Stunned his legs stopped and his gazed at her
The lover’s unite, both talked once like their childhood
But the eyes of jealousy looked at their love
Spoke the brother’s wife in mothers dove
Seeding the seeds of cast in the ear
As the mother couldn’t bear
And fall against there love
Mother’s eyes couldn’t see
The love they share, they happiness they feel
And so one night it was a ceremony
Every one came in harmony
But Devdas was not to be found
Were he was with Paro near the pound.
Lost from the time itself, cherishing
Their memory of such finite moments
To the infinite of love unrefined from the touch of time
In which they forgot the invitation
Of his beloved brother’s ceremony
Was in ceremony both neighbors meet
One with love came and greet
But that was not the case in the mother’s heart
As the ceremony was for brother’s wife
It was said she would give birth to successor
Which would spread the origin of the family
But unknown was Devdas and unknown was Paro
What held in this ceremony?
The jealousy of the brother’s serpent
And blinded mothers mind
Together they created fuzz
Which will a mark in heart of the lovers
end of part one
Author notes
this is the first part of the 5 part sequence... i am workin on the the rest of the parts..well the story is inspired from a movie called Devdas directed by Sanjay Leela Bhansali which was ifluencd by a book called devdas which was written by bengali Auther Sarat Chandra Chattopadhyay.
well hope you like the first part as it just a begining of the story.
this is the prelude of devdas book 2
http://allpoetry.com/poem/4057137
A contest entry
- Story Poems by Zixaphir.
700 points, ended March 4, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me Everything you've Got by CrystalJet.
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• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
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• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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very good
omg this poem is so good ive really enjoyed reading you poems there great -
very well write. All the best for the completion of the series.
But 1 correction. I think the plural of child is children but not childs. please check it.
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oops.. thanks for pointing it out..
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u r welcome.
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One word: Epic. I await more!
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Reading this makes me want to see the movie with out a doubt, I enjoy short story told in poem so this was a plesant read and just before I run off to sleep.
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A classic story for any rose garden.Your English is good and I enjoyed the first installment.
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thanks shamanicmusing
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too good to be read too fast, this one deserves time and more than one reading
Ah, how fortunate are we to find a poem such as this here today?
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Enjoyable
Will the Mother learn to understand? I wait to see!
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This story is really interesting to me
I haven't watched the movie Devdas but I really want to, especially after reading the story you have woven here (I'm Indian but don't watch enough Indian movies...) Anyway there are many grammatical errors which make it a bit confusing at times, but the story still flows nicely and makes the reader want to know more.
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yah you should watch that movie.. it is one of the most expensive movie of that time in bollywood i think still.. an from this movie ashwariya rai got the title of the most beautiful woman.. personally i found the movie kinda borin cause i knew the story but its a must ont time watch movie..
if you have seen it then my write will make more sense..
anyways thanks a lot for your comment..
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Poem read and judged.
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Nice story, Abuyi. Be sure and let me know what happens next! Charlynn
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WOW!!
I am hooked to see what happens next. I understand your write. Not feeling enough. Needing the respect and the love and the approval to seek and to be happy with your love. Beautiful. I will be looking for the rest to come. Bravo Abuyi!!!!!!!!!
Very well written. Loved it!!!!
Peace to you and God's touch
Jeri
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I have to ask, is English your first language?
There are many grammatical errors. If you want, I will send you a list of corrections.
Also, which line is from a Regina Spektor song? I didn't recognize any of them (but I'm not familiar with all of her songs). Please place the line and the title of the Regina Spektor song it was borrowed from in your author notes.
With the grammatical errors, it's a little difficult to comprehend some of lines. The bits I understood are good, though (especially the ninth stanza). It's a good first part to a story; you set it up nicely.
-K
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