I'm growing weary
Visiting the make believe
where shadows are superior
Then the flesh which I deceive
And with indifference
I pen such lines on whim
Hoping to discover
This man that hides within
Capitulation
To this wretched human form
Leaves me now barren
In a world that feeds this storm
And I'm a strumpet
Joining in this feast
Regurgitating the soul
Of one not worthy of life's delicious peace
By Bob Fox
A contest entry
- Let me feel your soul! Quickie!!!!!!!!!! by Tabi no Tochuu.
421 points, ended July 3, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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oooo wow. i know how you feel, but this is a really good poem. great great language...not to heavy, not to simple. good job!
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thanks
your kind comment is appreciated. I try to keep my poems simple and to the point. again thanks so much
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how you muct have suffered to feel this way and have such deep thoughts of one not worthy of life's delicious peace
Love your poems and the sharing of your self
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very sad ...loneliness
This is a very touching poem. It doesn't feel good to be sad or depressed. Keep writing to release all those feelings. They make very good poems and relieve you of them. Warm Regards...vivela
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ty Vivela
I do appreciate your kindness. & yes writing does help this wacked out mind. Peace my friend
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This is spectacular..Intensely moving..I was enthralled in this read..It's worthy of more applause than I can give..Outstanding work my friend ~Pastel
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cool
the flow was on point. 2nd stanza stands out as my favorite...."lines penned on whim"...etc.
last line is good but i think it would flow a little smoother if you use unworthy instead of not worthy.
also...a small grammatical error. i think you want "than" instead of "then" in 1st stanza. otherwise....very interesting perspective.
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