I've breached the entrance
dodged the barbs.
Flesh has yielded.
Yet the epicenter....
your final frontier
remains unpenetrable.
In mind's eye
I imagine it rising
from the great arch
oxidized and clanging
in false rhythm.
I promise......
I won't touch the patina.
I just want to know
if it's real.
Author notes
graphic found at: http://www.horsesoldier.com/catalog/r9481.JPEG
A contest entry
- Climbing You by truembrace.
475 points, ended March 25, 2007, 2 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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a great poem
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congratulations on the bronze!
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I'm so glad the poem by Erica Jong brought out such poetry. Though there were only a few entries into this contest, some of this poetry is as strong as many I've read in a while.
Your imagery is great, the verses are strong, the poem itself fits the contest perfectly.
Thanks so much for taking the time to enter into this contest.
-Kimmie
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Hi and thanks very much for your nice comment. I had never read any of Erica Jong's work before, poetry wise, I should say. I found it very inspiring and was greatly surprised also by the lack of entries, thank you very much for the bronze!
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"the great arch/oxidized and clanging". Love the sound of that, both literally and metaphorically. This piece has a breathlessness about it, as though intimate exploration is imminent.
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This is absolutely stunning, and a great poem. I really liked it, from the very first line. A great take on Jong, good luck in the contest!
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Oh, this is so beautifully written and speaks volumes in that searching of this other person...and those
last two lines just grabbed me-- as did the whole journey seeking the heart of another, of one whom with there is intimacy sought into and more. It fits well with the concept of the contest and is beautiful, eloquent and much lies within your words, here...
Best to you and good luck in the contest!
Love the picture, too, how well it suits this, wonderful piece, here, altogether!
m.
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wow...what a great metaphor you have used here....unexplored territory....extreme!
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wow. this is amazing! I love the heart shaped hoozit. It so reminds me of the desert, what you can find there and actually even that word patina evokes the desert in me because it's where I first heard it in connection with the bronze bells at Arcosanti.
I love how you have turned this piece into the geography of someone's body in need of exploration, trying to get at that arymthmic heartbeat.
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