If I saw you in a dream
Would you smile and say hello
Would we laugh and reminisce
Over times we used to know
When our hearts did beat as one
Sharing strength through bitter trial
If I saw you in a dream
Tell me, would you even smile?
If I saw you in a dream
Would you care enough to try
Old contentions to forget
Would you look me in the eye
And say to me "I've missed you dear
And all the laughter we did share,"
If I saw you in a dream
Tell me, would you even care?
I don't think it even matters, dream or waking, day or night
I can't think of anything to make me worthy in your sight
Time, they say will heal all wounds, but time it seems will not suffice
To warm a heart so full of anger that it pumps blood cold as ice...
If I saw you in a dream
I guess I'd turn and walk away
No need to hear those words again
I'll live to love another day
And when I find that perfect one
Who'll calm my soul and ease my fears
If I see you in a dream
No longer will I wake in tears
Author notes
Rakerman1
A contest entry
- Sadistic Emotions by Never Fall in Love.
650 points, ended April 11, 2007, 76 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A love lost by AutomaticAtaxia.
600 points, ended April 11, 2007, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Unrequired: Unrequited love by Tefnut.
525 points, ended July 15, 2008, 22 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - and This is Unrequited by YourTruestIntention.
625 points, ended December 18, 2008, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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this is beautiful. I love the style, and I love the feeling in it. if i had to complain about one thing, I guess it would be the ending. i think endings should be the most powerful part of a poem, generally speaking. sooo pretty though..
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This poem is so beautifully written. I love the way it flows. I could feel your pain.
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Amamzing write. I LOVED it so so much. Dreams of lost lovers. Oh that was a very very amazingly penned piece of petry and you succeeded in captivating my attention with every single word. Good luck.
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stunning, absolutly stunning. It's so vividly heartbreaking it cries out in dispair for hope. I loved it, good luck
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Wow this was so beautiful..
left me pretty much breathless.
Very original thoughts
and a treasure to read
Best of luck & thanks for entering
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Beauty in words, thank you for entering and good luck!
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what an excellent write on unrequited love...marvellous, loved it. specially the last two lines. well done
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Woah, this was incredible
that last line hit with a bang
Good luck in my contest. ALso this could work incredibly well as a song.
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awww. its so sweet and so sad and it makes you so sad to think that could actually happen.
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WOW
this was excellent
the rhyme was amazing
and the flow was totally excellent
amazing write
the lines flowed from one to the next
completely grasping the reader's attention
and its a topic I can relate too
all i can say is
excellent job
Keep it up
~Miraculous~
ps: I see you've got some trophies
Congrats! -
a charming write as always, filled with lots of lovely imagey.thank you again.
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I absolutely loved the last part about waking up in tears, that is beautiful. You rhymed and flowed very well, which is hard for many. good luck in the contest.
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Wow...what a wonderful poem. Reading it, I felt the bittersweet emotions and then the shift with the line:
"To warm a heart so full of anger that it pumps blood cold as ice..."
There it becomes clear that there is more below the surface. There are just so many emotions throughout the piece that I can relate to. And then the end, where hope emerges that you will "live to love another day". I love it all. The rhyming and flow were spot-on. A most enjoyable read...me thinks I need to bookmark this one.
I don't think any poem with this kind of emotion can be written without first hand experience, and I'm sorry for that if it's true for you. As it so often does though, it's produced a really lovely work of art. Congratulations on the Bronze, it was well deserved.
Best wishes,
~J.
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now i am going to cry. if i saw you in a dream i would give you your birthday cake. well written my friend. good luck in this contest. viyanna rosemarie
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Oh my f*in gosh
(dont mind my language)
but this poem just made me go "woah"
If I saw you in a dream
I guess I'd turn and walk away
No need to hear those words again
I'll live to love another day
This is too good
I loved your rhymes
it's just ...wow
alot of people liked the last four lines
and i love them too
but .. i dont believe in finding the perfect one
not anymore at the least
damn
good luck in the contest!
NeveR ♥
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Thank you very much my friend. Getting a "woah" from a reader is every poets desire.
Roses
Raker -
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forget the "woah"
the poem is bookmarked!
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Nice write. I loved the rhyming that you have used. It was perfect, and made the poem so much stronger. I particularly liked the lines,"I'll live to love another day. And when I find that perfect one Who'll calm my soul and ease my fears If I see you in a dream. No longer will I wake in tears." Here, you portrayed letting go of a loved one who has hurt you, or has not been there for you as he should, very well. Your flow was flawless, and the overall piece..amazing.
Keep writing, and good luck in the contest. Thank you for entering.
~Manic
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I love this. The way you rhyme...it's almost perfect. I wish you well in the contest.
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Heartwrenching
So beautifully put into words And when I find that perfect one
Who'll calm my soul and ease my fears
If I see you in a dream
No longer will I wake in tearsSimply put, I was almost in tears.
Peace/Mia
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