this song is to the beat and chords of "Ironman" i give Black Sabbath full credit for that, and take no credit for it, anyways here it is
He is Lord and God
A lot of people think that he's a fraud
What does he proclaim?
Satan is really lame
When you fight with him
You are guaranteed to win
You will face God's wrath
If you choose satans path
All of those that want him
will be be filled to their head
What will it now take
To convince that youre not late
You can still get back
Right back onto the right path
Jesus took a fall
Maybe you should trust him after all
He was crucified
For the future of mankind
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I Like Your Inspiration
I am a big Black Sabbath fan but an even bigger fan of Jesus Christ. I have about 200 Christian poems and I send out 1 a day to all of my E-mail contacts on what I call the Breadline. Just E-mail me at ironsaints@live.com and I will send you one a day. Please check out my stuff at user name Iron Saint. God Bless you ya nerd!
Love James
AKA "The Brother"
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An interesting piece...
An interesting piece; it's not uncommon for people to take music from someone else and write their own lyrics; for example, our song "My Country 'Tis of Thee" is based on Great Britain's national anthem. --Joe
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The great challenge is given in this lovely poem...Not only does it have good rhyme, but the message is clear, and one cannot miss it...Terrific, nephew..Bravo!
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once again an excellent write. i know ive said this before, but you are an AMAZING composer, and i think you should stick with it. i also like your constant theme. we should all think a little more like you. we would have less pain then. Matthew 6:27. leave it up to god, and the world would be a better place. keep the faith, and keep writing.
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Yeah!nephew....taking tunes we have known and making lyrics like this!
WOW*********!!!!!!!!KaPOW!You have the same desires as me composing music..I did a secular song along wo the tune of J, Denver.....Will send it....Yeah Yeah....go for it Nephew...Great!
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it's pretty good.. but i mean, everyone can play "ironman" on the guitar... good tune... but when you think about it, most songs that are put another person's rhythm end up being little kid songs... like Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and the ABC song... they are both to one of Motzart's conchertos. But in general I like the lyrics.
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*line 10: he be?
anyhow.......I am from the group HIs Holy Place. you wanted one of us to comment on your poetry. I chose this one because it was the shortest of the four displayed. I can't stand to read poetry that drags, and it is soooo easy, having a laptop, to just click away and into the next one. So if reader-reviews are what you are going after, then keep breviety close i mind...
ok, so I heard the tune in my head as I read this one. I am sorry, but please be more original. I dunno, I don't want to sound lame. I too am a Christian. That is fine. I love Jesus too. Now, with that said, I'm not sure if you are repeating things like a broken-record, from the top of your head, or actually reaching deep-down inside your heart and finding something beautiful about your relationship with God.... well, it sounds like the first one.
dear friend, brother in Christ, you are putting up a good fight, but your heart is not in you poetry, I do not believe. It does not always have to be about preaching. Say something real, and perhaps people will listen,
--Blessings,
-Pap.
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welll, personaly you seem to sure of your position....... don1t presume....
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I love this! =) This is so awesome! *runs out of words to say*
Great job!
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This is wonderful. I love how you turn that music into something Good. You must keep up the wonderful work. God bless you always and keep up the wonderful work for God.
Tabitha -
DUDE!!!!!
okay one thing you can not absolutly be sure god side will win and if you can i really don't see how besides god created satan as for the bible says i thought god was supposed to love all his creations but it doesn't seem he loves satan or anybody who doesn't beleive in him so i guess that kind of defeats the purpose a little bit don't you..... but anyways all in all you did fine except i agree with Autumn the rymnes are really forced so pluss you know i could care less about god and/or satan but still i do make a very good point as to the above...don't you think I'd like to hear your come back for that
Shadow P -
Very well done! Even tho I am not a black sabbath fan and have never heardthe song this was a great set of lyrics. So full of truth and question!
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I think this is pretty good. Very nicely done I think!
~K~
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You wanted me to comment on a religious poem...what is wrong with you??? If there was a person/being arrogant enough to call himself god..he hates me, and I hate him, were a happy family with great big twist. Lol, sorry shane but I don't like this poem, the rhymes are way too forced. And it's on a very touchy topic.
Better luck next time, Autumn
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