The soft wind blowing,
Your hair cups your face,
I watch from my window,
Remembering your embrace.
My hands once held yours,
Entertwined together,
Laughing at the midnight moon,
I thought it'd last forever.
Yet there you are,
Wrapped up in another.
Your face full of smiles,
I sit and I shudder.
Your smile beams through my window,
Dancing on the floor.
I'm surprised at your happiness
I wish I could've given you more.
So I'll stand at the window,
Whisper goodbye.
So long my sweet..
At least you can't see me cry.
A contest entry
- The Silence of Love by Poet of Dreams.
425 points, ended March 17, 2007, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me some poetry!!! by James L Williams.
500 points, ended March 17, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Looking for a new AP family... by OurxBeginning.
300 points, ended July 16, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "Am I suppose to be happy with all i ever wanted, it comes with a price" by fire angel 088.
333 points, ended April 11, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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A good write.
Good stuff - the title probably is the only thing I'd change, though I am sure it has particular meaning to you. It is a sad piece and contains quite a lot of emotion.
Your smile beams through my window,
Dancing on the floor.
that is a beautiful part - that for me really captures something.
A great piece.
James
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Awww, this is quite sad. Very emotional and the reader can picture it all in their mind. Your rhyming in this was done nicely and flowed as one with the poem. Let me know what you wish to be in my family. =] Thank you for entering and good luck. ~
~
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i think the best part of this poem is its tenderness, the gentle easy flow and feeling...a tender image and shows the heart of the true lover. blessings and best wishes, ~richard
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Awwww So Sad and Beautiful
you just have me in a tear filled moment today.I am still at a loss for words other than to say this is just beautifully written.A truly emotional write my dear.Good Luck in all your contests,and congrat's on the silver you have won.
Blessings to you
~Cheryl~ -
Bravo Bravo Outstanding write
Congradulations on the trophy Well desired. Of an unselfish love. So deep with such emotion.I love your last stance it really touched me (Lisa)
"So I'll stand at the window,
Whisper goodbye.
So long my sweet..
At least you can't see me cry."
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Yes, this does express that giving someone up so they can find true love that was asked for in this contest. Easy to read and understand. Thanks for entering.
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Very well done! you very much captured the pain and emotion i was looking for in this contest. The Rhyme scheme seems a bit choppy at the begining and the end. the rhythm was well played and thought out. very well done
Good luck and Thanks for entering
The Unrequited Writer
Ben B.
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