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Not

You told me I should love you
Because you love me too
But I hate you, so strongly,
So bitterly, we're through.

You said you'd held me in your arms
While I breathed my first breath
You said you'd raised me the best you could
Yet you almost drove me to my death.

Betrayal hits below the belt;
This, at least, you should know,
I guess you felt I betrayed you too,
If only because I grow.

And I grew out of your selfish lies
I grew into myself
At 5'7" you don't know me anymore!
"Us" has long been on the shelf.

Yet still you think you know me
And love me through and through.
But I'd prefer your hatred in the end,
For then I'd agree with you.

Author notes

For Contest "S.o.r.r.y Isn't Good [[Enough]]" Option 2: Change.


I think this is probably my best because I usually write about things I imagine or think to be true, but this is a true and raw piece. I don't much like the meter or the rhyming, but it's how I feel and I can't change it.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 14 of 14
  • in-the-twilight
    May 13, 2007

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    This is definately a great poem... the flow was off in some places... but this was powerful and strong! Rock oN! xoxo Meg


  • NeverRegretLove
    May 9, 2007

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    good job. and i agree with beautifully broken. everything was great about this poem. good topic. i really liked it. its beautiful. thanks for entering and good luck =]
    M.e.g.a.n


  • BeAuT1FuLlyXxBrOkEn
    May 6, 2007

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    i think both the meter and rhyming were great, i love this piece. good luck in the contest and keep up the good work!


  • Triste
    April 21, 2007

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    I agree that this poem's emotions were raw, and I liked that. Sometimes getting a certain poem out of yourself means being vulnerable to yourself, too. And I think that shows in this poem, your brutal honesty and unashamed statements, and makes it powerfully emotive. I thought it flowed well, kind of stilted in a way that made me think of someone tearing something apart. Thanks for your entry.


  • Heavens Child
    April 19, 2007

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    Very deep and emotional words that have touched this soul. Take pride in your strength and your courage, don't ever let someone tell you who you ought to be. Great poem and thank you for the entry in my contest.

  • surreptitious
    April 15, 2007

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    This is a powerful and heartfelt write. Raw emotion usually doesn't put itself in perfect form, but in poetry it takes perfect shape. thank you for sharing yourself with us and good luck in the contest.


  • The Eyes of a Angel
    April 14, 2007
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    Wow wonderful....Great job. So much emotion...Great job and good luck in the contest
    ~Angel~


  • Tirrell
    April 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    To me this offers little enjoyment, it is angsty
    yet there is a flaw here or there. Read it out loud, one such is the typo in the fith line it would read better if you used You've inplace of you'd, thank you for entering it does have great potential, just needs a revision in my humble opinion. Thank you for your tallents here!!!


  • Porcelain Princess
    April 8, 2007

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    love ittt

    I won't ask. But if it's not fiction, then I think I know. Great write. Comma in first stanza, middle of third line isn't really needed.


  • Venugopal gold member
    April 3, 2007

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    It is a mature statement from a girl as young as you. You wanted to be loved for what you are.Very true.For the same reason a love took in my heart for you. Though poem goes on demonstrating, i loved the statement"you like tobe loved for what you are. fantastic little darling..keep it up.


  • GC De Piazzi silver member
    March 15, 2007

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    Wow, I have chills from reading your powerfull words, they touched my soul. All I can say is hang in there, hate is something you have not yet grown to love. Hopefully, one day this will make sense.


  • silent bee
    March 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    true emotion is always the best. this is an excellent piece, you did well. thank you for entering the contest and best of luck to you!

    ~b*e*e~

1 - 14 of 14