She walks down the hallway
No one sees the real person inside her
It's like she's invisible
No one sees that there is pain in her face
And they ignore the tears streaming down her face
She is dying inside
No one in her family cares
She is alone
All they do is hurt her
No one loves her
If she was gone no one would notice
No one would care
It was just another High School girl
No one wants to know who this person is
I'll tell you anyway
It's me
People abuse me
Use me up
Then say "I love You"
A contest entry
- Pretty Little Rag Doll. by yesterdaysfeelings-.
750 points, ended June 15, 2007, 81 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
-
Excellent write here
Yes I have seen people who take and take yet they never take the time to truly look ito their eyes for if they did then they would see I am more than a rag doll why cant they get to know me
-
Oh wow I really like this poem...I feel and have experienced this in life. I love this poem and it's true just from the emotions you put in it.
-
Thanks for your entry.
-
Makes me want to hug ya!
I totally agree with arnica karuna , very well done.
Thanks for entering..
P.S
You can remove the past contest entries on this page, it would make a better read zone..
Thanks sweetie, and good luck.
She walks down the hallway
No one sees the real person inside her
It's like she's invisible
No one sees that there is pain in her face
And they ignore the tears streaming down her face
She dying inside
-
how sad is this
I feel your pain and I can relate to this poem and theese lines :
No one sees that there is pain in her face
And they ignore the tears streaming down her face
She dying inside
Thank you for your enty good luck
-
A first hand, highly rated poem.. the simplicty of language, expressions, images... all shine throughout the work. But the main idea behind the poem is nothing close to simple. You have addressed a burning issue through this poem. Perhaps you used the little girl as a mouthpiece, which was clever, but if this was your story, what have I to offer but tears of pain and a promise of support and care. I am deeply moved by this write. In fact, the line one itself makes the reader realise the pain, which continues to rise, reaching its zenith somewhere in the middle of the poem... i guess this part:
"No one sees that ther is pain in her face
And they ignore the tears streaming down her face
She dying inside"
The use of strong, but as I have already said, simple words really makes it seem to be coming right from a high school gil. Well done.
Just one typographical error i spotted
"No one sees that ther is pain in her face "
Should be "No one sees that THERE is pain in her face
And they ignore the tears streaming down her face
She dying inside"
Well done!
thanks for entering the Raven Qualifier and good luck!
-
wow
this is alot of emotion. i like it a whole whole lot -
Good luck and thanks for entering.
-
ohmiigawsh! very nice!! this was great...very nice...i dont know what to say but...i know how you feel, i know exactly. this is a powerful sad peom...very very nice
-
Aww!
That's so sad. Great write, and I liked reading it.
-
geez. good luck
-
wow
Awww, it makes want to hold you and tell you I care.
If nobody else does(and I know andrew does) I care.
-
The lack of acknowledgement and insincere love rains through in poring showers of tear drops dear poetess. Very upfront and personal plea to see the real you. Its dearly moving and poetry of that nature is always a must in my book. You convey the mundane feeling of being just another overlooked face and being judged by assumption poetically well here.
-
yea,uh huh,alot of people will notice if you were gone.Rebekah,me evan(he would care nomatter what he says),andrew,melissa,brittany,friends at school,friends at church,the list goes on into infinity.trust me alot of people would care and notice if you were gone
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
