Oh moon, of alabaster smile
where is my love
As she sleeps in reposed dream
of peaceful while, in mist
does she dream of me,
of our parting kiss and touch
What is she dreaming of
As she recounts the day spent.
In twilight hues
of amber grey, does she see
my face, my parting smile
and glance of pretension
Does she lay in slumber,
Imbibing my essence,
longing for the scent… of me
in words, without sound
without worlds to fracture light
does she dream of me tonight
touching me with lips,
soft kisses… adoring,
imploring, my nearness to wake her
I take her in my arms
Under the faithful, alabaster moon
to hold her near… to sleep, and dream
to love her within, as she slumbers.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 39 of 39
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Oh I love this! I am a Moon child...so this touches my spirit! I love the magic of the Moon...you certainly penned a wonderful tribute to love and the Moon!
So lovely~
Az
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ooo pretty i love the word play
two lovers hold each other one is asleep and the other thinks of his love and what she dreams of
the last stanza though is my favorite where he dreams of his love
great job
~~Chef W.B.
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hmm.
This is good if you like that sort of thing. This is not to my taste, but i could see why others would like it. Typical subject but in an original way. -
Lovely. Very heartfelt. I like the tone, that very antique quality the words give. "In twilight hues / of amber grey", I quite liked that line, very nicely done. Great work, keep it up
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Oh, how romantic. A delightful piece indeed. I wrote something about the moon yesterday. Why does it seem that celestial bodies inspire in us poets words that arrive with wonder? I love this Moon story...I will honestly say this is one of the sweetest pieces I have read here thus far on AP. Wonderful!
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Wow, I really really like this. The flow is amazing as is the wording and imagery. I also love the title, it really captured me and fits well with the piece. Honestly, i just loved this. I honestly think you could get this published...its really that good. And it really triggers something inside of me because i can relate so well to what your saying here. This is a really great piece. Good job!
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amazing, just amazing, i love the first stanza it was my favorite, it was so beautiful, i enjoyed the rest of the poem but the first stanza is my favorite cause it just blew me away.
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Under the faithful, alabaster moon
to hold her near… to sleep, and dream
to love her within, as she slumbers.
The most amazing impact of this verse is that it is filled with a kind of the softness in every line which take us to the world of the meaning of inner
heart and that is the strength of the beautiful work my friend..Thank you so much sharing such a pretty work here
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Of course this is an amazing write and I hope you know that. You have such imagery and depth and emotion going throughout this poem that it could be nothing less than an amazing write! Awesome job and keep up the great writing!
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Quite beautiful and carries a wonderfully soft flow line after line. A lovely read and my pleasure this morning
~Tia
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You paint the p[oem with your beautiful words,the emotions in your poem are goze
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i'm sorry but this is just sappy. it constantly rephrases the same sentiment and its unoriginal, the language vaguely pretentious. perhaps if so many others hadn;t already written what is essentially the same trite poem
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Ahhh! This a sweet and lovely poem. I love the desciption and detailing in this, it's so beautiful and beautifully written. This blew me away when I was reading it!
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Great work! The flow and emotion in this piece are very well done and expressed, and its easy to read, with no noticeable hang-ups for readers to get caught on. Really really good job here!
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Wonderful! This connects the reader with nature. only suggestion is to remove a few of the commas. it makes it confusing about which thought ends where.
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O' so wonderful sweet...Words of love and in need of answers:Where is my love~What is she dreaming of~Does she lay in slumber~Does she dream of me tonight~Really love the feel of this
thank you so very much for sharing...
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Five wonderful stanzas. dreamy sceane. I felt like I floating on a gossimer cloud. This write was ritht to the top.
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bravo
Nicely done here ...a fine dreamlike quality to the poem ...bravo...bravo...bravo -
Oh- truely romantic!! Wow- this would be they type of piece that I would frame and hang in my room if it was written for me. Truely enough to make any girl sigh and swoon if written to her. Breath-takeing, indeed.
Again, a lovely write-
Burmina -
Very touching...
Wow-not only is this extremely romantic in a refreshing sort of way, it's VERY TOUCHING to the soul...I felt so warm as I was reading it, like my heart was shining brightly...ALL THIS LOVE (L ife's O nly V ital E nergy) shines brightly here...well written and well received! Thanx so much for the journey...peace & blessings
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MERCY, MERCY MERCY.
THE THRIL OF RELIVING IT ALL WITH YOUR OWN SPECIAL LOVE. LIKE A NEW MAP A WAY TO SEE JOY ANOTHER WAY. -
You've created beautiful imagery in this piece. It's a lovely write. Just curious, but what do you mean by "glance of pretension"? I assume you've used that description because she isn't actually with, you but is dreaming that those are the things you would be doing if you were really there? Hehe, sorry if I'm looking too deeply into it... but like I said, I am just curious.
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You have that very gentle way of writing that is like the hands of your profession, only not with hands,but your heart and gentle passion...I love that gentle spirit that flows through the whole write.Your beautiful imagery,and your gentle loving ways of thinking of her, loving her..is nothing short of dreamy, as you close" Under the faithful, alabaster moon,to hold her near..to sleep and fream to love her within as she slumbers.....Always so gentle....and very tender.....Keep that pen flowing masterfully as always...
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Truly romantic! Byronic in its beauty and exquisite sentiment. Thanks for sharing.
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Hi Bob,
I'm back to read this again, ironically just before I head off to bed. Each time I read this, it seems more lovely than the time before. As Tonya (moonstonemadness) said, it is such a romantic write. In my present state of mind, these are the kind of words that bring a sense of calm to quiet moments that might otherwise feel empty. Thank you again for sharing this beautiful write.
Much love and Happy Easter!
~J. -
your imagery outlasts anything i can ever thought together!!! man, this is why i enjoy reading poetry and why i got into writing poetry myself in the very first place!!!!!!!!!
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a beautiful write! so stark in emotion...the love is heavenly and intense...all encompassing. this was hard to not keep reading over and over, it draws the reader into it over and over. the imagery is wonderful. keep writing friend. you did a fantastic job with this, God bless you always
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Just reading again
Rick
PS: Watching Sinfelt -
Mystical
This is a very romantic write. The mysticism that you create in this is wonderful. Bringing it to life and reality in the last stanza was a good move. This left me floating upon the flowing dream and brought me back to reality as it ended. Beautifully done.
Tonya
*moonstonemadness*
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Hi Tonya,
Thank you so much for your coments and for reading my words. Bob
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Bob...
I've been sitting here for the last 20 minutes just staring at this on my screen...looking for words that can express how I feel after reading. It is...exquisite. Not just in technique, not just in the thoughts contained, but in the pure heart that make the words wrap tight within my chest.
"in words, without sound
without worlds to fracture light
does she dream of me tonight"
"Under the faithful, alabaster moon
to hold her near… to sleep, and dream
to love her within, as she slumbers."
I loved those lines especially, and I'd bet anything "she" does indeed dream of you.
I wish I had read this last night before going to sleep, but I am printing it out to keep on my nightstand. This is the kind of poetry that, like a dream catcher, is almost certain to keep only the best of thoughts and most beautiful of faces in that magical dream world.
s and love,
~J.
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Thank you so much for your kind words, Jules. Just to think that "she" dreams of me is all the poetic heart can long for. Love, Bob
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Amazing
Sometimes,
when you are inspired, you write beyond yourself
This is one of those times
For the 37 time in 8,317 comments I say the words Amazing
because the words made here are, truly amazing
Love the soft yearning above all
Rick
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Thanks Rick, I'm especially glad you like it as I value your critique much. Bob
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Bob,
I have read this twice and cried both times. I am almost at a loss for words!
I could quote every line as being full of yearning, tender love and vivid imagery. This feels a bit like Shakespeare, but much easier to read.
Amazing write, I am in awe. Three applauds seem inadequate.
Best wishes in this contest, to me this is gold.
Michelle
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Thanks, Michelle, for saying amazing and for reading. Bob
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oh, this is very nicely written...in this I feel a love aso fierce that longing for the one loved gnaws at the edges of your very being....I think the best phrase (and possibly best image) is :"in words, without sound
without worlds to fracture light
does she dream of me tonight"
again very nicely done, and thank you for the entry -
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Thank you AD,
For your open and straight-forward contest of poetry in pictures of the mind. I hope my words are worthy of your consideration. Bob
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