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Bumbled Blubbering






Ablaze and blistered, bottle in hand -

I have to have this woman - but I'm bobbling the ball.

Just a little ginjumbled,
words don't work tonight -

bumbled blubbering dribbles - fuck, yeah, I'm smooth, 

but I'm smothered, smoked, broken, babbling into the bottle.

Well-fucked and flummoxed,
diddling in my drunkenness -

how the hell did Emily empty me like this?

I'm a dead man crawling, now -

no way to make this work,

I'll wobble home and live to drink another day.





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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • neoprose
    May 3, 2007

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    I am sorry to read your poems in a series order. They are too similar in vocabluary. I am constantly drawn over the lines and a strong sense of de ja vu bores me. It is powerful the first few times but then it fades.


  • Saffron gold member
    March 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Another perfect Emily with a gin chaser


  • Methusala
    March 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Spectacular

    Like I said above, spectacular use of alliteration. . . the flow is excellent, somewhat bothered, reflecting your drunkeness, and it seems to me to be a bit of onomonapeia (sp?) too. I absolutely loved this. Great job.

  • Nicole Hanna
    March 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Longer than 10 lines, but that's not necessarily stopped me from finishing a piece before. lol. You know, I think I honestly like this piece more without the last stanza, which is saying alot, because I'm already in love with Emily. Makes me wonder if I'm a lesbian. lol

1 - 6 of 6