The Day Before Checkout

'Twas the day before checkout and all through the halls,
The seniors were crouching and making their calls.
The traps were set with by their masters with care,
In hopes that the freshman would step into the snare.
The teachers sat and worked on their grades,
While visions of summer danced in their heads.
Waiting and watching, prepared for a nap,
I listened real hard for that pleasant-- SNAP!
When out in the hall there arose such a clatter,
It sounded like a janitor had tripped over his latter.

Away to the doorway I flew like a flash.
I threw open the door in a wild mad dash.
The lights lit the halls with a hellish glow,
No chance at all of him getting let go.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
Yet another freshman who struggled in fear.
He struggled and quivered and gave me a kick,
And called to his friends who came rather quick.
More rapid than eagles, his comrades they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:

Come on Justin and Jason, and Tony and Ray!
Take him on down then get out of my way!
Take him down now! Hard make him fall!
Dance on him, crash on him, then break his jaw!

With fire in their words and a twinkling eye,
They knocked me over while on the fly.
Now imagine a Senior who a freshman had bruised,
Then imagine that same one whom now had two!
And then, while still down, I heard a the word "doof",
I knew what the meant, it was the word "goof".
Then as I stood, I got turned around,
A fist to my gut was what I found.

They circled around me from my head to my foot.
And all of them laughed as hard as they could.
Again I tried to get off my back,
But I could not because strength I did lack.
My tormentors' faces were looking quite merry,
From the sound of their laughs, I knew they were airy.
It was at that time that I sunk to a low,
All I could do was hope they would go.


They still had me circled just like a wreath,
And they pinched all my stuff... The dirty thieves!
To my shame, I admit that they fell me,
Once, twice and thrice I got off my belly.
I was dazed and confused, not sure of myself,
When I was found, the teacher was not much for help.
With a groan and a sigh, I picked up my head.
The freshmen were gone so I had nothing to dread.

I still think today of that bleepity-bleep beep Jerk,
Boy what a day, it was a real piece of work...
I will always remember the trap that I chose,
And so will that freshman, wherever he goes.
Now on the Checkout, when I give a whistle,
The new batch of Seniors come like down on a thistle.
I always remind them of that fateful plight,
"Happy Checkout to all, and learn how to fight!"