The gunfire rings out
The bombs explode
The soldiers fall
And from them flows a river
A river of mortal red
They stand on the front lines
Fighting for the cause
Some can't even remember what it is for
So they still spill this river
This river of mortal red
What for? Why the bloodshed?
Why the tears, why the hate?
Can't we try to get along
And stop the terrible flow
Of the river of mortal red?
Author notes
Ugh. uhm this wasnt that good, but i dont care im sick. quotes option 1
A contest entry
- Options...and good ones! by loveisthemoment.
350 points, ended March 24, 2007, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PROMPTS! PROMPTS! MILITARY! PATRIOTIC! PRE-WRITES ALLOWED. by Beautiful-N-Broken.
700 points, ended October 11, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write a modern classic war poem. by BabyBun.
700 points, ended February 26, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Chilling and real. I enjoyed the read. Thanks for the entry and good luck
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Thank you so much! Twas a pleasure to enter. -Liz
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this has such a powerful message about war, the idea of "mortal red" is just spine chilling, this is really good, best of luck in the contest
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Well I think you did a great job! Good luck in the contest.
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Tasha -
Good job on the win and great poem! It was a wonderful read!!!
^_^
Cynni -
What is mortal red?? sorry maybe im just stupid but thats kind of wierd... well maybe i get it but im not sure.... other than my tiny brain not knowing what mortal red means... well this is a desent poem...
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are you kidding? This is really good. No wonder you won the contest. Congratulations
<3 Kari
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wow, uhm thanks. Didnt even know til now that i did win.......I was out of town with NO COMPUTER! thanks for the comment!
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I don't think this poem is bad at all. You speak of the river of hatred, for what cause nobody will remember some day...in fact, some don't know of it. You bring it forth with such great poetic qualities! The imagery stuck out....leaving and image in the mind to try and create a dam for such a river...or something to slow the flow of it and it's restless currents. Keep up the great work!
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thanks shakari!
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Even if you thinks it's not very good I think it's awesome. I feel the same way.
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thanks.
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Wonderful
I like the way you took this title. If only we could stop the war and prevent more of them from happening. But honoring our past heroes at the same time. Good job and good luck!
love always,
~musicangel -
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Thank you much!
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