She tiptoed down the fine and brittle line
Between Ophelia and Clementine,
Inviting tragedy, praying that death
Would sneak through shadows and steal her last breath.
All the rust-red lines traced on her skin
Are hints of the torrents that lie within
Her fragile form, soon the flood-gates
Will open, it will pour in gaping spates.
She made this hell in which she exists,
Invited despair, yet still she insists
That she did not expect the shadows to fall
Or to hear Death's low and lilting call.
She enslaved herself with ceaseless bonds
But tears spread from her eyes like seeking fronds
Of a creeping plant: the fear that grew inside,
Fear that behind her hair she chose to hide.
So treat this angel gently, no matter what she said
She never imagined that so soon she'd be dead,
And gazing from the picture is a girl who foresook life,
Thinking it was better to bathe in pain and strife.
Author notes
Yes, it is a very beautiful and inspiring picture.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Well I like it very much!
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I'm very glad you were inspired by my picture, but to be honest I'm not inspired by your portrayal of my ppicture. It's a beautiful poem, don't get me wrong, but in my personal opinion, the aabb form doesn't flow well at all, and I'm not a fan of it. Your poem tells a sad but beautiful story, I just don't like the format you have chosen to tell it in. Thanks for entering though!
xxFadingGracexx -
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Thanks for your comment, I'm sorry this wasn't what you were looking for. I've just realised this broke one of the rules of the contest (that poems had to be 30 lines or longer) so I've removed it, but it was a lovely contest idea and thanks for taking the time to read my piece.
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you look at the picture and saw into her soul.you wrote her life with lovely words and awesome rhymes.you can feel the emotions as the story is told.another excellent write from your truly talented pen.
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