Heavy with regret
Complete with pain
I'm sorry for going in your purse
im sorry for taking that $80
You were going to use for your lunch this week
I apologize for my lack of self cotnrol
I'm sorry for my selfishness
And the addiction that's caught hold of me
The addiction that helps me through life
Destroying everything in the process
im sorry, that I ever started
that bright sunny day four years ago
was the day I was introduced to my own worst enemy
young and naive i was at the time
all of 13 years old
i apologize mother
for coming so far yet having a seperate life
this shit really does eat me up inside
whenever i steal and get high
i really am sorry dad
for the excuses and fights
it changes me for the most part
i just cant say goodbye
i cant refuse the cravings
the intensity hits me at the worst times
but dont mistake me
im not as proud
as i come off to be
im not as content
with this monster
as it may seem
i just defend it
because it has become my only saving grace
im so sorry
my dear mother and father
all i ever waneted was to make proud
i will come clean with you one day mom
i will take the intitative
to make life better for good
because i know that if i continue using and abusing
i will fall, sink to a putrid smoky room
A fog of my mistakes and faults
im sorry
that it wont be right now
im sorry
that im choosing to bypass the road to success for now
please forgive me mtoher
i will come back to it one day
you know i never meant for it to go this far
i have so many demons that lye with me at night
its hard to stay clean
im sorry..that your only real daughter is an addict
its 11 am right now
as i watch the clock tick minutes away
one more hour and you will be off work
ordering lunch you absently think you c an pay for
little do you know
that those paper bills arent there
...PLEASE FORGVE ME MOTHER
I NEVERE MEANT FOR IT TO GO THIS FAR...
A contest entry
- I challenge you by Ilma.
800 points, ended August 2, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Option 3
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Oh my gosh, I can relate to this poem so much because I've seen very very close people, family and friends, go through what you have, do the same thing. A friend who is just starting, a family member who is far far into it, and another, dead. They also stole money for drugs. It's so sad, because it's just a circle that never ends, and everything is for drugs, and it ruins their life for that one moment of happiness. But then it gets so hard to get out of. It's like it controls them. I hate watching them fall, I wish they'd realise what they're doing. It's unbearable. If this is about you, I am so impressed that you are saying this, writing it as a letter to your family, and you are a beautiful, amazing writer. You could feel all the emotion packed into this poem. You made me cry!
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Its a very emotional painful poem, especially the way it is written to your parents as a letter. 'im not as content
with this monster
as it may seem
i just defend it
because it has become my only saving grace ' loved those lines, thank you for entering and best of luck -
wow
that's deep.
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