If the goddess of fortune would ask me
“ What shall I give thee?”
I would ask her
To bring you near
For one last time.
The sun longs for the single ray of light
The sky desires for being vast
Sweetest tunes for melodies do fight
Oceans even ripples do seek.
Rivers do suffer in thirst
Calm sea can even burst.
Happy moments do long for happiness.
And I pray to GOD to bless
Me with the gift of your love.
For one last time.
I know you are going away
I wont ask you to stay.
But I’ll pray
For a little delay.
So that I can lay
On the chest of life
For one last time.
Still now when stars fall
And I know I’ve something to ask for.
I can’t make my wish
As I know it’ll only raise my anguish.
So I ask something for you
And tears glitter in my eyes like morning dew.
Still now I can love only you.
So I close my eyes
With those sighs
Longing to have your glimpse
For one last time.
Author notes
Broken love
A contest entry
- Love.... (5 options) by Kristin Melissa.
700 points, ended March 16, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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so i can lay on the chest of life for one last time
ooooooh, now that's truly incredible
somehow i wish that was the last line, have you considered inverting the last and second last stanzas?
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The title and the first line caught my attention. I really loved the first stanza. I had to read the second stanza twice so my slow mind could comprehend. xD I like the last 3 lines of the second stanza. The third stanza is touching, in a way. Delaying and doing it once more. The last stanza is... I think, quite sad and by far, the most touching part I have ever read.
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Thanks for reading my poem with such deep emotion.
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I can relate to this with a sad heart ... lovely write with so much feel ,,,
Namaste
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There are some lines in this poem which I can clearly visualize (Maybe because it's me!!, lol).
An example: "And tears glitter in my eyes like morning dew."
I like the way how you have put your thoughts in these two lines:
"So that I can lay
On the chest of life"
However, you need to check the title. The word "last" should start with capital L.
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A very interesting piece. "Sweetest tunes for melodies do fight/Oceans even ripples do seek." I think I probably liked this section the most. Good work.
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Thanks a lot for commenting. I'm glad u liked it.
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This is a wonderful poem and a awesome piece of work! You are a talented writer and you express a lot of emotion in your work!! I love it! ^.^
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Thanks for so much praise. I'm glad that you liked it.God Bless You.
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