Something I've gotten good at
Unbelieveably fast
Parralleling the cars
I surpass them with ease
But when in opposing lanes
Is when I shine
Leaping over them
Backflips, Frontflips
Multiple lane corkscrews
Over vechicles going my speed
In the opposing lanes
I am scared
When preparing for a flip
But that only makes
My adrenaline rise, ever higher
Just like me when I flip
The world is upside down
For less than a second
When I do a flip
But I feel negative gavitational forces
Screw physics, is what I think
I've conditioned myself pass them
I'm all over the news
"who is this lunatic?"
And interview people who see me
Sightings, people have a hard time catching me on camera
I'm not going to try and stop them
Its funny to see them try
Crime blots, pages just for me
Summer nights
They call me shadow
Because wearing all black
That's all they see of me
But they can hear me real well
I've become so good at it
But I still get hit often
But I get back up
And try to go faster
Or if i'm hurt
Get over to the correct lane
And see how bad I am
Because no matter what
No driver wants to explain
That kind of thing to the cops
Its much more natural for me than walking
I've been doing it since i was 2
I don't care who knows that
Its who I am
Or my alter ego, I don't know which
But, I'm a blader
And a daredevil
Don't you forget that!
Author notes
Crazy-Dan
I actually do those flips over cars, and i know its dangerous.
As for the speed that is true. I'm going for the record of 65mph, i'm at 52.3mph
Before I wrote this, i never realized that i was addicted to adrenaline.
i am unsure but i think this is my alter ego, because i'm so calm otherwise, when i'm in my rollerblades my smile is gone, i'm quite and i'm jumping around like a mad man.
Option 10
In a list
A contest entry
- Help me Break out of my Box. by GC De Piazzi.
700 points, ended March 15, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 1st Round: Anything you want......:D [[Closes in 1 hour!]] by xox-lankan-xox.
450 points, ended April 18, 2007, 171 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Will You be My Darien.................Or my Tuxedo mask? by bloved.
750 points, ended May 5, 2007, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Are You A Great Lord? by The Cube.
500 points, ended May 4, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - (Almost) Anything - Take a Peek by broken-colours.
900 points, ended May 18, 2007, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Option Contest by Beating.
600 points, ended June 14, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Truth Of Death 3: Anything Goes by Claudia Incognito.
300 points, ended August 26, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I will suck the marrow from your bones... by shirk.
1250 points, ended November 5, 2007, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 20 OPTIONS CONTEST!!! (My way) by ourgirlFriday.
600 points, ended October 11, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
how can i improve this poem? its not very good in my opinion
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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DUDE ive soo been there!!! I usta do some dumb stuff to feel that rush. Jumping off water falls, pallet surfing. ( chain a wood pallet to a truck and you ride on the pallet.) I found this write to be full of imagery and very vivid.. lol it looks like im not the only one. This is very well written!! Thank you for penning it!!
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Very vivid
Great imagery, which held my attention through the whole poem. It is a poem of 'adrenaline' and is full of excitement.
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Interesting hobby...
Many fantasize, few try, fewer pull it off well at that. I like this poem; I have the perfect picture for it...I'll have to find it for you.
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hehe
i like it...very...i can't really explain it just makes me fell....i....Look just understand i love this -
This is a good poem. You were right. I do love it.
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Hmmmm..... Your poems, for some reason leave me oddly unsatisfied. For some reason, there seemed to be no emotion... nothing there behind this poem. No rhythm, no flow... No nothing. I think you should try rhyming, perhaps - maybe that'll add some sort of flow to your poems.
I do like the ideas behind your poems though, they are very eye catching, and fast pace. ~
good luck!
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I have come to collect your awesome story/poem and feature it in Poetry Planet.
In about ten minutes you will be able to view it on The Planet. 
Thank you for sharing your talent with the hundreds of visitors who will meet you today.
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I liked
'when in opposing lanes
Is when I shine'
' if i'm hurt
Get over to the correct lane
And see how bad I am
Because no matter what
No driver wants to explain
That kind of thing to the cops'
crafty bugger
'Its who I am
Or my alter ego'
This is thoughtprovoking, not because its a greatly written poem but because its so personal and so confessional, and the subject is exciting, a secret, but ‘Screw physics’, blasphemy, sacrilege…burn him, hes a witch (hehe)
do you mean 'screw the blurred clouds of probabilities around the nucleus','screw the ordered chaos'- i think you ride on ordered chaos, you ride on probabilities, you ride on physics
on the plus side Dick says
"I think I can safely say that nobody understands quantum mechanics."
- Richard P. Feynman
And my id says
“ dig in deep, crush the sheep, fight on to avidya”,
and my super ego says stop seeking you are loved
but be in no doubt
this is more a WARNING,
than a MEDAL of HONOUR
though you may wear it as one
and i may want to worship at your feet
i can still worship the dead
and as for that alter ego, is it sybil, batman, or mr hyde?
Im rooting for batman
Nothing can ever happen to batman
Why even when there was no hope,
a torpedo speeding towards them,
they couldn’t maneuver in time…
even with all their skill…oh no….
But it was noble, as Robin said ‘for that porpoise to hurl itself in front of the torpedo to save our lives’
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Essentially, what you have done here is tell the story of your sport. It isn't really a poem, the way I see poetry. But the story is marvelous and stands well as such. I would like to feature it on Poetry Planet, if I may, and I would use your real name and put your copyright on it. May I? We gets hundreds of hits on Poetry Planet.
Melodies
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Amazing.... totally amazing. I am blow away by this poem. I have a friend here who will want to see your poem. She writes for a newspaper. So COOL! I am glad to meet you.
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I don't like the repitition of "flip"
You could use a different variations of the word.
I like your authors notes, I think it explains it rather well. I think that you could, however, express it in a better/more concise way.
Thanks for entering my contest. -
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I agree with the flip thing. I started reading it and after seeing flip three times within the same stanza I kind of just stopped reading it.
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pushes the edge
This would be unbelievable as a work of fiction, but wait, I have to stop and remember, you say its true. It has such a surrealistic, hyper-world comic feel to it.
I have to disagree that it is not very good. It has a modernistic but controlled savage feeling. The adrenaline
rush you mention, is an all natural high gone wrong.
I enjoyed the read but pray I never, or anyone, for that matter, comes in contact with you!
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wait, so you are on rollarskates.... and you flip OVER a car. My GOD, how do you have the nerve to do that. I'd freak out and go chicken and say hell no. lol.
Anyway great poem. Man people these days do some wierd shit. lol
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i guess flips r dangerous u ought to take are this's some strange write yet very nie n bit funny too well done
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nice, scary stunts but nice,
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"They call me shadow
Because wearing all black"
I love that part. Addicted to adrenaline. I know the feeling. Though I think you're way of achieving it is kinda crazy! haha! Oh well, i'm not really a daredevil like you
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It takes alal kinds of people to make up this world, and there are many liek you that have that drive, that passion to do something. Think we all have a passion for writing on this site, for the work some of us do, and for someone special probably. This passion of yours is quite dangerous but I am sureyou get enjoyment from it. Liked following you through the traffic, glad I got to watch from the sidelines though. Enjoiyed the read,
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Really great work here. I think the Lord of Daredevils will work well, kina sums everything you do up. Thanks for entering and welcome to the clan of Shukuns. (Lords)
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wow this i really good! I can see the honesty of your write. I also like how you took me into a part of your mind. You showed me you and your other side. It was defiantly an adrenaline rush!
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Oh, it's good
You had me fascinated. I felt as if I were watching a documentary! The only critique that I have about this is that I think some punctuation (commas, semicolons, etc.) would give the reader the correct pauses and build-up of excitement you feel. It will also help the flow. That's the only critique I have. Saddly, I have to delete you because you are actively involved in a contest currently being judged. I wish I didn't have to; I hate this part of being a judge, but I asked for no poems actively in other contests. I hope you can accept my comments that this was, indeed, a good poem.
Blessed Be,
***Rae***
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Great read about what you do but I would like to read WHY you do it? What drives you, what makes you get up after a fall and do it again. You say it is more natural than walking, why?
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ha, i chuckled at first, but then it got a tad bit more serious. but you managed to keep the humor throughout.
amazing write.
i don't wonder i worry, playing in traffic isn't the best pasttime dear.
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Hmm...
I do have to agree, quite a lovely title and I haven't seen any poems of the subject on AP. Bravo for bringing it to life! First let me tell you what I do like: I love the imagery. It's almost like you have the reader watching you instead of reading the poem and the picture of everything happening is glorious. Not to mention that this is quite a hobby. <3 Be careful It also helps that your stanzas are separated.
Now, what I don't like is: I'm not too sure if the length really justifies the actual subject. Some poems tend to be too short or too long and I fear that yours is a tad overdrawn. I'm sure you can incorporate the same ideas while using more combinations and such. -
hmmmm....I don't know on which aspect should I stop commenting first: the technicall point of view or the message within....hmmmm....the title is quite a bomb!after reading it all I had to go back to it because i must confess that my reading-8th-sense prepared me for a love poem
yet you managed to definatly surprise me!!! the style is a little bit to childish and giving the subject chosen you should have pick up some more intriguing word-combinations or make use of some sounds to create a virtual atmosphere!For example, I as a reader want to feel and hear what you feel and hear when you flip over cars/trains/airoplanes etc...this poem lacks power. what it needs is a little bit more visual effect with details of the scenario.the reader must be thrilled and at the end of teh poem he must say "WAO!!!
" insted of "Oh! just another kiddo with a quirky hobbie!" I'm having splendid time knocking my head on the pavement with my agressive skating so i have a clue of what you feel!keep up(writting)! be creative and challange the reader!make it feel as passionate as you are!
P.S: I only hope that Death is a 90/60/90 blond hot chick!take care
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Thank you for your comment on "My First Passion"
its going to take me a while to describe those feelings in poetic form, its hard enough in regular form, and as for spelling the sounds, that's even harder.
When i do that, if i can, i'll tell you. Since you've given me one of the best comments on this poem.
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Wow - you are insane
Just kidding - although please do be careful!!
Very well written piece - i could almost feel the adrenaline rush from reading it
Well done -
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i have not yet cut any cars in half, nor have i lost any limbs so its all good.
I don't destroy things people get in enough accidents trying to avoid me
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This kind of reminds me of the manic stage of a bi-polar; the extremness of it all. It is a bit disjointed in places but then so is the energy involved in this piece. I do think this is an interesting, well written piece and ought to catch the readers attention. Do me a favor though.. stay in one piece please..lol.. and keep others in one piece. (ok.. that is the mother in me.) Good luck in the contest. Blessings. Debby
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i have not yet cut any cars in half, nor have i lost any limbs so its all good.
I don't destroy things people get in enough accidents trying to avoid me.
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Interesting piece, during most of it I was thinking that it was a metaphor for the way you handled life. I enjoyed the read, a little strange to picture though, haha. Good luck and best wishes.
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it was supposed to be a strange picture, that's how i consider it. As for way i handle life, nope, that's just like how i walk, clumsily and in a diagonal line.
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like the poem
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thank you, for the direct comment on "My First Passion"
But is there anyway i could improve it?
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