I have trod a path, quite a swath and burned the candle both ends,
Times there are, I’ve gone too far, by thinking a few of them friends.
A sheila I know, she was a pro, from when I was living down south,
She was sure, that little whore, butter would not melt in her mouth.
My gut feelings strong, I’m never wrong, something just didn’t belong,
With mistrust, consuming my lust, what could it be that was wrong?
Then by chance, during a dance, it was not love for me that she felt,
A crisis indeed, must take heed, to play out the hand I’d been dealt.
Playing the part, with heavy heart, cash needed for her folks to send,
Resolute to play, without a lay, until this bitter game came to an end.
Now wise to my game, at me she came, ranting and raving with might,
Hurling a curse, I’d end up in a hearse, she was such a fearsome sight.
Determined was I, not blinking an eye and proceeded without any fear,
Eyes glaring red, shaking her head, her feelings became crystal clear.
She started to moan and loudly groan, then gave me an ominous glare,
The sky went black, there was a loud crack, blue lightning filled the air.
I felt a searing heat, down to my feet and the thunder deafened my ear,
She laughed again, at my pain and now showing the first signs of fear.
I wasn’t sure, to bolt for the door, or lay prostrate flat on the floor,
Or remain and see, what else for me, was planned or waiting in store.
She wildly pranced, crazily danced, and uttered more ominous chants,
I stood so shocked, mentally blocked, unconsciously wetting my pants.
She angrily howled and loudly scowled, she’d punish me for doing this,
There I stood, like a log of wood, for her voice had become a loud hiss.
Oh bugger me, how can I get free and escape from this most horrible mess?
When suddenly I awoke, beside a bloke, wearing a bright yellow dress.
Really now, what an ugly old cow, I’ll always wonder if we did or did not,
It will worry me sick, a dame with a dick, laying with me there in the cot.
So now you know, why I am so slow, while chatting up sheilas for a date,
The lesson remains, oh how it pains, to mess with the fickle finger of fate.
Author notes
LOVEHATE
In a list
A contest entry
- Rhyme me about life, love or loss by Random Thoughts.
425 points, ended March 16, 2007, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me feel it... by Vera Jewel.
500 points, ended April 14, 2007, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Recognizing Defeat by LaylaLace.
600 points, ended March 23, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest for Cheaters by BigE.
450 points, ended May 15, 2008, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - star crossed lovers by Cerbie20.
1325 points, ended August 31, 2008, 87 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - and This is Unrequited by YourTruestIntention.
625 points, ended December 18, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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very good job. the rhyme was good awesome, and the rhythm was good as well. and i was laughing at that last part... about the girl who turned out not to be a girl... nice twist.
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That was a clever twist you put in the end! Lovely work with the limericks!
Good luck in the contest!
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from contest holder
i think you tried a bit too hard to make the rhyme go well. but still, overall a nice write, and you had a very strong ending. good luck.
kat -
The girl totally kicked his butt, which makes this perfect for the contest. Thanks for entering!
The best of luck,
-Dlvvanzor -
This is really different and kinda weird, lol. I liked the rhyme scheme in this, it's unique. I felt all of the emotion in this. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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Nice
I kinda thought this poem was funny i laughed! I like this poem alot so keep up the good work and good luck in the contest. nice write!
~Heather
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You've got an amazing talent for creating a vivid picture with your words, evident by your already won trophies. Great write. Thank you for the entry in my contest.
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Thank you for entering.
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lmao....ya know I really liked that. It was masterfuly written and a very good story. One of the better things I have read in a while. However, I am looking for the gut wrenching pain of losing a real and true love. Thanks for entering
Raker -
very rhymy, and it makes sense, in this funny sort of way. but good luck...
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Very Funny My Friend
Hehehe, Oh Barry, You do come up with some amazing story/poems. This one was so funny because I can only imagine if this really happened to you, what you would do. Hope you don't own a gun.
You are such a great story teller. I never know what to expect in your poems but I know I will enjoy them when I stop by to read them.
You take care and know you are in my thoughts my friend. Everytime I hear the song, "Come Fly With Me" I think of my Bazza Bear. Bless you always. Love ya, Sandy 
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? ok nice little story running through this,didn't end as I first thought it would,good luck in the comp.
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good poem!! enjoy it!!
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Bravo AGAIN!
I absolutly love how you paint such descriptive pictures in the readers minds. I also like the rhyme scheme, it really creates a great mood. I don't know how you do it, but I really love it. I also love how the reader can tell you're australian, it gives it a unique taste.
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Sucked in ( with both fangs)
Sucked you in !!! lol what a successful poem for a vampire then ............... lol thanks again for wonderful comments and applause. Thanks love .. you're a doll.
Barry -
Lovely comments.
Well stardazer, you have been reading my 'picture poems' and yet some people claim they are too 'wordy' but this is my specialty and I try to give you the same feelings, emotion, sights and sounds that I experienced, so I can share with you as close as possible. I believe the poet should tell the story .. not the reader, and that is where vague free verse falls down in my opinion. Put me on your favourite list if you would like more, but there are almost 140 poems on my site there now and on all subjects.
There are some very popular love poems too.
Thank you for your comments and taking the time to read the.
Mate, I can't work out what makes you think I am an Ausie though, that's got me buggared.
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i love this great work and i hope you keep it up... i just love your wording,and how you make it as though what you felt when you wrote this is felt with us aswell good luck to you!!!
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Great comments
That is my intention and what I strive for and these`are known as 'picture poem'. Glad you enjoyed them and were able to share with me some of my better times. I would love you to add me to your favs if some of the others on my site are worthy. -
Great comments
That is my intention and what I strive for and these`are known as 'picture poem'. Glad you enjoyed them and were able to share with me some of my better times. I would love you to add me to your favs if some of the others on my site are worthy.
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Well that was amazing poetry,
I loved the double rhymiong sequence you have used, it reminds me of one of my favourite poets,
This was an awesome story about life and to an extent a bit of love or maybe lust!!
Really enjoyed reading this a lot it had a bit of everything in it, humour, lust, anger, betrayel, surprises and a lesson in life!!
Really well done, a fantastic effort all round,
Thanks for sharing and best of luck in my contest,
-Brenden
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