Sand
layered lightly upon a beach
piled up in a desert
the dust fallen off a spirit's dress
follows the wind
trying to find its mistress
A contest entry
- Quickie by Hadji Murad.
300 points, ended April 6, 2007, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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this was a very cute poem thanks for sharing and thanks for the points you did a good job on this cute and wounderful poem keep up the great work and keep that pen flowing again thanks for sharing and god bless you and keep you and hold you forever and always your friend dianna lee green also knowned as serenity lynn silvermoon
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Hmmm, intriguing concept. I must say though that you should have merged the first word with the first real line?...it creates six lines. >_< I'm not going to punish you for that.
Anyways
This did feel SLIGHTLY wordy. Overall though this is such an astounding poem. I love the theme and the words. So vivid and poignant. Amazing job here, thank you for entering and best of luck. -
Nice
Cool take on a subject most would pass up. -
Fantastic
I always thought that the sand must have had an origin and this answers the question...To its Mistress!
Innovative and original!
John -
wow this is great!! just change the font
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