When I reminisce, I often cry, missing those who’ve been strung out or died. I don’t understand how they could give up their life, but all the while I was so blind/I was slowly dippin into the same fate, blinded by the excuses, anger and hate, now I understand, to the lost ones I relate, I just hope I can overcome it and start with a clean slate/ I know people I’ve lost would want more for me, they’re probably looking down thinking “How could this be?” I thought life’s traps were easy to see, but it only takes a moment to end up like me.
Author notes
Shortie88
written 12/03/07
free verse
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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"I just hope I can overcome it and start with a clean slate"
and
"but it only takes a moment to end up like me." are the most perfect lines! Excellent work, a very true image is drawn here and it is one that is pondered by many (yes, including me.)
Great job
Bandaid.
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Life can be pretty darn sneaky. We just need to learn how to appreciate the twists, turns and the forks in the road that it presents to us. Just remember, one day you will be free.
Great piece, and how's this? I care about you and want more for you, and I don't even know you.
Take care,
SMW -
Hey admitting that you cant understand is the first step....lol.....but i love it.and i like on how you sed
I thought life’s traps were easy to see, but it only takes a moment to end up like me.
This is really good i love it alot.lol.
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I love how you admit you couldn't understand, but now you do and you are spreading the awareness about how quickly and easily anyone can fall into the lifestyle of any. Great write, and I actualy think I like the form you chose. It's as if you weren't trying too hard to impress anyone...you just wanted to get your word out there.
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"I thought life’s traps were easy to see, but it only takes a moment to end up like me" - beautifully powerful ending, which ties everything back in with the title.
I didn't particularly care for the way this piece is set out - the lack of line breaks makes your poem seem less of a poem and more of a clump of words (to be honest).
A simple typo - I think you meant to write 'dipping'
The part rhyme, such as relate and slate, seems to adversely affect the free verse flow. Although I did love the rhyme at the ending.
Thank you for entering this poetic piece in my contest.
DancingRed.
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