She trusted him with her life and gave him her love
Never knowing the evil that dwelled within him
Every day he felt that he needed to hurt her
So beautiful but naive was this pour soul
Her heart was always in the right place
He never loved her but knew that she adored him
She built her life and dreams around him every day
Thinking that he appreciated and loved her for who she was
He was a cold and sinister man waiting for the right time
So that he could take advantage and beat her down
He wanted to take her very essence and all that she held
Deep down she was just another trophy for his collection
But, somehow she saw through him and his intentions
All of the lies and hurt that he placed in her heart
Knowing this, she left him at once and never looked back
Author notes
Thank you for the inspiration and for holding this contest!
A contest entry
- 24 hours - INNOCENCE by misselaineous.
300 points, ended March 18, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Friends, I appreciate your comments and review on this write. However, please do not add my name to your comments due to the contest rules. Thank you very much!
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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pour soul should be poor soul i think...
this tells a story and i liked that about your poem - but i feel it was a bit too wordy in places - too verbose. Sometimes "less is more" in poetry... perhaps you could work on that aspect of your writing in the future because you clearly have good ideas and just need to refine things a little bit more - oh and re-read before- it annoys contest holders when they see simple errors like the one i have pointed out
thank you for entering my contest
elaine
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Okay my Friend:
This is just amazing. You sure can tell a story,you really have a way with words,
This Darling of a soul you write about, sure did the right thing, this had me a little worried at first, but she knew all the while to walk away before it was to late. I love your story, you really should look into writing a book.
Manyblessings2u & yours
Joyce
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Jeremy, this is a great write you penned here my friend. Well done
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Error
You didn't read the rules very carefully, apparently. Though I wish you luck, it was supposed to be fifteen lines at most, and you weren't allowed to use the word in question.
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Hello! Is there still enough time for me to edit it? Or are you already grading your entries?
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Masterfully Witten!!
This is such a Masterfully Written piece
of work. Brought up so many emotions
within me. I Love every line in this
SPECTACULAR piece of writting! Good
Luck!
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This is a great poem, filled with so much emotion. Well done and good luck in the contest
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I wish those in this situation now would read this and be inspired to do the same thing--leave! I am glad you had her leave with her innocence. He took some by treating her that way, but at least she saw throughhim finally. Good luck in the contest.
Jeannie
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Beautiful
It would be so wonderful if all those that are used and abused could see enought to turn and just wal away. Beautiful verse and so full of truth an pain. Great Job.
*Go with God* my friend,
Valerie
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