i've got
lots of
colors
to glue
tightly
using
sticky
hands
of my
young,
'white,'
clearish
mind
but,
when i
only have
480 legos,
i'm forced
to think
carefully
where the
reds and
yellows
would match
and, so,
that same
principle
goes with
the soft
action
i
have
in my
building
of a
child's room
In a list
A contest entry
- Anything Beautiful by Dirty and Broken.
900 points, ended March 24, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
i like this
but i don't quite understand it.
i mean, i understand the literal part, but that can't be all there is... -
-
Appreciated.
Thank you for the Honorable Mention, and I had meant to make it more understandable before you closed it, but would you like to read my few new edits? Those points are helpful to me because I have an even twelve trophies and 10 HM's now! Green always looks good on my profile page.
-
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if you are really only ten, then I am even more impressed by this poem. the simplicity of the words contrasts perfectly with the depth of your idea.
i've got
lots of
colors
to glue
tightly
for some reason I love these lines. the idea of gluing colors together sounds like a rainbow. and children really are a combination of all things bright meshed into one.
the only thing I might change would be the fourth-to-last line: I would take out the "my" so that the end just reads
in
building
a
child's room
because I got a bit confused with the "my."
Great job! =]
-
Good Luck
Thank you for your thin poem. I'm not exactly sure of the meaning......but I really like reading it. I know a poem about thin poems by Tony Mitton
Where to Put Your Poem (Daft Draft)
Poems
written
on
pieces
of
string
are
usually
slender
yes
long
and
thin.
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