i watched
as you crumbled the face
of clay
[orange earth
was never a match
for the ice of your eyes]
A contest entry
- Color Me Quickly - 24 hour contest by Heart Sutra.
405 points, ended March 13, 2007, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
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bingbingbing
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wow, so powerful. The words penned here just blew me away. very talented poet you are. I loved this part:
[orange earth
was never a match
for the ice of your eyes] -
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Thank you so much for the kind comment. This is one of my favorites, so I am thrilled everytime I get a good comment on this piece.
I appreciate it a lot,
Shirley
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Short yet vivid and amazing! Great write!!! Bravo =]
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Thank you! Cliffs is one of my alltime favorites and it really makes me happy to see people like it so much! I appreciate the comment,
Shirley
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GORRRRGEOUS!! Such vivid imagery and emotional content. Well worth the read!!!!
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Thanks, its one of my favs. I got a pretty gold trophy for it.
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thanks elaine, i read the comment on your page. i understand that feeling, none-the-less a rose from you means a lot on one of my pieces.
thanks so much!
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Oh yeah, I always loved this one by you!!!
I wish it would let me give you some more of those jumping yellow ego slapper things.
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This is my personal favorite. Compliments from you mean more than those silly ego boosters.
-S
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WOW shirley so short yet so great! your poems just get better and better
Congrats on the gold it was much deserved!
I really missed you!
~Forever silenced (that's if u remember who I am) -
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Thank you princess! <33
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great poem... I must have missed it cause I don't remember reading it. I miss you so much. I hope I hear from you soon
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Making my much needed rounds of favorites,
and found this poem to be extremely interesting...
Glad the contest holder felt the same way
Congrat's on your gold, my friend.
Love, Lane -
Staggering, vivid, Gold. well done
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glad you liked it ron.
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Oooo... Shirley!
your submission for these weeks is vindictive! Real sharp! So what's the background story behind this one?
-Mal
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lol, its actually lovey dovey... my bf has ice blue eyes and its my weakness, the physical way he broke down the walls i built to secure myself... cheesy metaphor i know, but everyone seems to like it. thanks for the comment mal
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Dear sweet one, this is f*n astounding! Congrats on the shiny gold. I have nothing of importance to say about this piece except I felt it inside my soul. You are remarkable, as a person and as a poet. I admire you and I love you!
~Lori
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Congrats on the gold! This was utterly divine! GREAT JOB. Though icy eyes are kinda cliche, I forgive you.
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lol, thanks, going for the gold membership?
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Great Work
As the cloud in my minds eye clears
Picture a frustrated sculptor
Nothing is seen, it disappears
Leaving the viewer in rapture.
I don`t know if this is where you were going, but it is where you left me....Great work
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now that was a short one! but one great little write!
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thank you for the thoughtful comment
-S
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Short, yet to-the-point...
The first three lines don't really interest that much, but the metaphor of the second three lines is quite facinating.
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the first stanza is actually stronger for the personal aspect this represents for me, but i agree the second stanza is much more poetic, almost powerful enough to be a poem all itself. :] thanks for stopping by
-S
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BEAUTIFUL!
You have captured so beautifully the way some people are, their eyes so cold and without expression, beautifully written.
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BEAUTIFUL!
You have captured so beautifully the way some people are, their eyes so cold and without expression, beautifully written.
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Nice. Short, and packs a punch. Whci reminds me, there were also no cliches. Good job.
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Whoa Shirley.
Wow.
Six lines, but such genius. Yes, genius. You write that well. I love your writing, you know that right?
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Shall we fling ourselves off the crumbling edges or recognize that in the end life is our creation and how much of it are you willing to give away?
love, tom b.
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Textured and intense ...
well done -- yes: gold!
Congratulations!
Myra
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No wonder this won; short, succinct and oh so, poetically woven. Excellent!
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Rightfully so
this is well spoken.....clay covered over with ice....is a natural thing...somehow unfitting for love...very worthy of gold this is....
Mal
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This is amazing. I think my eyes fell out of my head when I read this poem. You are one talented soul.
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thank you for the gold z, i enjoyed writing this <33
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