Lethargic fingertips ricochet off opal corneas,
cloudy as the distance grows
amid cotton sheets and steel toed boots.
His prideful silhouette slaughters the fractured
stairs. Just like last night- those pointed words.
Those stylish synonyms, straight-shooting you called it
The four poster bed shifts.
Deadpan cells pace between my temples,
trying to find the way out as easily he did.
But my labyrinth is clotted with fairy tale stories;
he contrived to reach ‘happily ever after’.
He thought me Gretel
and I found myself without a Hansel.
Thinning me with succulent fables
which I took for reality.
His natural aversion to civilization
leaves me with a classical temperament,
the woman scorned.
Before his uncharming exit, he looked at me
As if I was his prey.
It would have been more fitting if he hadn’t already bitten.
He waited there,
looking at me,
as if I should drop to my knees and prostrate myself to him.
Thanking him for a job well done
- half done, boy.
Then he blinked making sure I knew it was my naiveness
that left me here, alone, between the cooling sheets, gripping the last of the crumbs,
his trail ended here and I was left with all the blame.
[I’d like to think it’s about standards, morals.
But looking into his eyes,
it’s a real crapshoot
and the fact that he didn’t have
to use force, makes him a great man
as opposed to not a felon in that particular area.]
My horizons surrender to walls as I step out of character.
With nothing, not even yesterday’s clothing, courtship or cues.
And it is here where I decide
If I shall ever follow another bread trail,
ever be Gretel
and trust a man again.
Author notes
I should have been studying for Stats, but I got a call and started writing.
For Amber, the girl in my Philosophy class, who was called a whore for admitting to having sex.
Be brutally honest I feel like everything I write is terrible, lately.
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I liked how you keep the Hansel and Gretel feel going throughout the poem. I especially loved the lines refering to the trail of bread crumbs. You have such a way with words! The ending was very strong as well. Wow. It left me with a feeling of deep sorrow that a woman can be so ill-used by a man as to lose her faith in all of them. Hope you find yourself a worthy Hansel soon.
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My horizons surrender to walls as I step out of character.
With nothing, not even yesterday’s clothing, courtship or cues.
And it is here where I decide
If I shall ever follow another bread trail,
ever be Gretel
and trust a man again.
Well you impressed me with your so mystic immagery which is truly a spoken magic as well..well done....
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This is poetry! The imagery is stunning. The feel of this poem makes me forlorn, cast away, distressed but I wanted more. Go figure! It is good of you to have so much compassion. I have been here. Drug inducement made me not have as much respect for myself as I should have. Left with the walls closing in I sprang from the senselessness of this bed and never returned. People can alter their circumstances in life. It takes mounds of effort and willingness but we can.
I loved the idea of a "crapshoot". Life is one giant gamble. It can also be one huge "fable" if left to the guise of our wants. Brilliant work! Thanks for featuring this!
Much Love & Respect ♥
Renee
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So strong
Everything you right is so strong. This is a difficult one to read...not because of the words but because of the message. There are so many amazing bits
I picture "Him" and all his pride, disdain and self righteousness....... you have captured it so strongly,
As often with your work I love the poem ..but don't quite see the connection with the title..... and I didn't work out what a "bread trail" is.
Shannon, sorry it has taken me so long to comment.
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Very great work. I'm glad that at least someone will stand up for your freind. I love the fairy tales you sprinkled throughout the art and I would have to say that it is far from terrible...
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This poem is indeed very clever, and kept me glue'ed myself very articulate piece of writing with tons of hidden metophores if not intentional or not, Very good work keep it up!
P.S Giant Monkeys dont like Fables we always seem to be left out of them, 'monkeys deserve love too' -
Not at all terriable my dear... Keep penning. This piece had me glued to my screen to the end... Very well written I loved!! BRAVO!!!
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Excellent
Wonderful. It definitely captures the essence of how sexist society can be, even today.
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amazing. expressions were good. great imagery. i think that there was alot of feelin
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This was a heartfelt write and it really hit home in a great many ways. I am sure your friend Amber will love this write for it was truely very good. The emotion behind the words really were wonderful. Thank you for sharing this piece
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