Her white senses
were engrained against
the grievances in grey- & still,
she swept her hands
like croqueted curtains
billowing through breezes
& beautiful.
She shifts her shape-
a light silhouette against the rest
of rotted roots, our rioting world.
[she was a sunflower,
petals posing for the sunlight
seeping kisses through clouds
collecting rain...]
A contest entry
- 24 hours - INNOCENCE by misselaineous.
300 points, ended March 18, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
the flower/nature metaphor here is nice
a few poets who have entered my contest have used it - and i think you have done it well
you have used alliteration well too, billowing breezes and crocheted curtains are lovely
i particulary like the final stanza
of 'petals posing' - i like the image that phrase portrays.
thank you for entering my contest
elaine
-
Sunflower used as a metaphor is wonderful imagination. keep it up dear
-
ohh hunny I ♥love♥ the alliteration!!!
this is an a.m.a.z.i.n.g piece
Baby this knocks glitter dust into my eyes
great job!!
keep up the great work!
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