Thinking Tonight By His Side

I'm laying here, the love of my life next to me, yet i'm crying. He's sleeping peacefully. He's beautiful. I would be happy to hold him forever. But still it feels like we're falling apart. I finally gave him my whole heart this past week, and we've been dating for 4 months today. my past has kept me prisoner but i've broken free. now that i tell him how i truly feel, i get an "oh, that's nice" kind of response and then he falls asleep. and here i am feeling like we're falling away from eachother. I'm sitting listening to Fuel's song Bad Day on repeat as if he might be able to hear it or me crying. He doesn't. He continues sleeping. I feel bad for keeping this from him, but I'm afraid that if I tell him how bad it upsets me when he tells me he will do something and then doesnt, i'm afraid of how he would take it. i don't like causing him pain, and i feel that when i point out that something bothers me, i'm causing him pain, and then i feel bad. everyone in the past has broken many promises to me, and i'm afraid that the biggest promise he has made me will be one of the ones he breaks. i don't want to lose him like i lost everyone else. i just want him to hold me and tell me everything will be okay. i just want to know that he won't break that promise. he breaks other ones... i don't want to fall away from him. i love him. there could never be another. i swore to him tonight that if something would happen to him and i were able to find the strength to continue living, there would NEVER be another. he is the only one who will ever hold my heart. he takes it with him to the grave. and he comforts me after giving me handing him my fragile heart by rolling over and going to sleep. i'm just sitting here crying, wishing he'd hear me and hold me... but i doubt that will happen. So I'm just going to lay down and cry myself to sleep now...


And dream we're not falling away...