Like oxygen I keep on needing you.
like light you keep on shining through.
like the river you flow.
like the turtle your slow
but now I want you to know
how your love is pure as snow.
i wish my love I could easily show
and forever you and I would glow.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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wow, this is beautifuly written
i really love it,
great job,
keep writting!
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Very sweet poem, though I feel like the images don't fit together. There is no sense of continuity. It seems a bit unfinished to me.
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loved it! so sweet and inocent appearing!
Like oxygen I keep on needing you.
like light you keep on shining through.
the beginning stanza was my favorite! great job! i liked your flow and the rhyming in it all. very nice. the simpleness of it was fantastic and it was short, so didn't take thirty minutes away from my life, lol, sometimes i enjoy long poems, but not right this second. nicely done, all of it! =) i give you
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Short and sweet. I really like this. Great write
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Like I like it! It makes an impression on the soul in its honesty.A from the heart can never be wrong.
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This is a lovely poem. Is English your second language? I would love to assist you with your poetry but do not wish to sound like I'm picking on it. Your poetry is lovely and I would love to help you improve it if you would like that.
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So wonderfully sweet and filled tender emotions of love and need...just give me a chance to love you and together we will glow...sighs...just beautiful and thank you for sharing with me
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it needs more, but good
its too short, it seems like it cut in the middle and pasted the end onto it, but its great but it needs to be finished, great rhyme and use of words though, its very sweet but do a little more work on it and it will be even better, I promise
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seems short lived like the poem was cut off in the middle it never finished its flow, I like the poem I think you had a awesome idea and you did a great job on the rythm and rhyme of it and the flow was great only problem I had was like I said it seemed cut off in the middle, and oh the turtle aint so slow he kick bass
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Wow
Awesome
I like it
Short and sweet
Very beautifully written
Good usage of words
And I like the rhyme
This made me so happy…
I can understand what you’re trying to say
You’re have such a great talent
Keep it up bro, great job!
Write more…
Shuberth
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aww
that is so so so sweet! i feel like crying! (but for a good reason) that was AMAZING! great useage of words! wonderful job!
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^_^
This is cute, I love the first line of your poem.
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