too young to retire
yet a relic in the workplace.
Uncertain what the future holds
I'm like a piece of drift wood,
afloat with no welcome shore
in sight, at the mercy
of every careless breeze.
I have children around
who call me grandpa
when I feel I'm not old enough
for that title.
The hoary frost upon my crown
belies the youth trapped within.
The once cherished image in the mirror
has been replaced by a wrinkled man.
I may be fading but I struggle daily
to still make a difference,
while I can.
In a list
A contest entry
- Who Are You... Tell me. by Lj-.
350 points, ended March 16, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I identify with so mucgh of this poem, for I feel it too, except for the Children and grandchildren part as you know. But as one, born on the same day and facing similiar circumstances I hear see, hear and feel your message coming out loud and clear!
((Don't fence me in,
before my Medicare begins!!!))
LOL & Love,
David

-
Hope things goes well, if their is something going on. And great poem I enjoy this piece of art you shared.


-
Lovely words, well said. It is a shame that society seems unable to get over agism. I sometimes wonder if it is instilled in us as a means of stopping us from accessing a wealth of knowledge and keep us focused on what's new (it always has to be new).
I feel that you have described your feelings clearly, and without being too sentimental.
Thanks -
Bandits United!
A beautiful poem about the changes of age. You caught that feeling of the middle. Between being a "kid" and a "teenager". A "teenager" and an "adult". Young and old. It happens to everyone.
too young to retire
yet a relic in the workplace.
These were probably my favorite lines. I had to laugh just a little at your expense. Sorry.
One day I'll be where you are and I hope I take it as well as you've done in this poem.
~M~

-
Bandits Unite!!!
I'm late with my comment, as always, but I really loved this. How sweet and honest and just really nice this was to read. This is something I think most people relate to as they grow up--- and I think you've done an incredible job expressing it. I liked the lines "The hoary frost upon my crown
belies the youth trapped within." That's sucha beautiful phrase. {my boyfriend is greying and he started at 26, so no worries
} Very calm and accepting way to deal with this "transition".


-
Bandits United!
Congratulations on this poignant poem. I like the paradoxes you give here, lending weight to your confusion and predicament. Very well crafted expressions throughout, especially (dare I say it!) coming from a male ~ a species notoriously silent about important life issues!
I say all power to you ~ well done dear Poet. Bravo!


-
BANDITS UNITED
This is a beautiful poem. I find myself in that transition period too but from and adolescent to a man. I would love to make a difference in this lifetime though I struggle with where and when that will be. Great job with this...

-
"Bandits united"
What a beautiful piece Dennis...the second stanza is so wise, sensitive and expressive, carrying it to the final conclusion - selfless and filled with determination.
I love this:
'The hoary frost upon my crown
belies the youth trapped within.'
lots of love,
rachel


-
Bandits Untied !!!
Love the flow and tones grandstand imagery life can be a struggle at times but this to shall pass I enjoyed the read....have a great day in the spotlight

-
BANDITS UNITED!!
You're only as old as you feel, right? Don't let those young whipper-snappers get you down
I think this piece is a great personal reflection that many readers will be able to connect to. Nicely done! >pixxie<


-
Bandits United!!!
this is a great write. this could be written for me except i am the opposite sex. my husband recently told me to leave my hair down always because it makes him feel old seeing all my white hair.
i love this bit:
The hoary frost upon my crown
belies the youth trapped within.
i have a dear friend in her 80s and she says to me she feels 17 inside until she sees herself in a mirror.
and this last bit i believe everyone struggles with:
I may be fading but I struggle daily
to still make a difference,
while I can.
thank you for sharing this. keep writing! God bless you always


-
BANDITS UNITED
Hang in there,
life begins when you make it.
Dye the hair, change the job,
take up sport, or- just fake it,
give up -nothing,


-
Bandits United!!!
What a wonderful poem! and I can certainly relate as I am close to being in the place you talk about here. Too young to retire and uncertain of what the future holds. I think if we can make a difference in some small way everyday, then perhaps father time will be kind enough to see us through the years that follow. I love this piece, it is great!
Love & Light
Debbera

-
BANDITS UNITED !!
Wonderful way of dealing with this topic and your own thoughts... You made an interesting piece of poetry out of your pondering, and that is really great. Thanks for sharing this, keep up the excellenw work!
Annie

-
HOODWINKED oh my gosh!
Really??? I bet you do not look as bad a William T. Sherman from the Civil War days. His skin was so weathered, he even scared the Indians.
Hey, color your hair and use face cream.
Your poem is totally welcome by me... I shall never retire and they can't kick you out for your age.


-
BANDITS UNITED
Not old, not young...What is this midlife puberty...I know just how you feel truly I do...The touches of gray to grandchildren washes over you so fast, you cant help but wonder where did time, go I'm still standing here

Thank you for sharing a moment with me


-
Bandits United
This really hit home for me as I have watched my husband facing this in his career right now. Too young to retire, very experienced and yet more and more, he sees buisness deferring to men younger, but less experienced than he. Wisdom is not valued as it should be when stood next to youth in our society. I can say though my favorite line is "The once cherished image in the mirror has been replaced by a wrinkled man". I like the way you DID NOT say wrinkled OLD man. Time marked, by still "able to make a difference". This poem will appeal to many with the same feelings. I enjoyed it very much.

-
Bandits United!
You might laugh at me for saying this, but I just turned 30 this year, and as a result have been increasingly more aware of my own mortality, so in a small way, I can relate to your thoughts. The final 7 lines are the poems strongest, for here you have expressed wonderfully that conflict between your outward and inward views of yourself. As for making a difference, I'll bet that has already happened and is still happening in ways you can't even imagine (and may not in this life!)


-
Bandits United
You capture what the title says. We young people want to be older but older people want to be young again. It's a great piece. We are behind you.

-
Bandits United
This is a very good piece. I guess that is what people await when they start to become middle aged. I have a little ways to go yet for that. Great piece keep it up.
Never give up
Kate

-
Bandits United
This is a wonderful look into "middle-age". You are correct in that the work place seems to be focused on a more and more youthful look while at the same time pushing the retirement age higher and higher. A very difficult time for many. You have done well to raise many questions about this "transition".

-
Bandits United
I feel that we are as young as we feel inside. I know that sounds silly but that is how I live my life. Wonderful poem of how our bodies grow older but our spirits stay so young. Wonderful imagery and emotions within. I so enjoyed reading. Enjoy your day in the spotlight
Theresa


-
BANDITS UNITED: This is your day ian the sportlight, enjoy! How often us baby boomers feel like this - too young, but yet old enough - liked the ending to this - still wanting to make a difference in whatever way you can. Easy to read and understand the sentiments expressed so well in these lines. With that attitude you should have no trouble doing things for lots of folk.


-
Bandits United!
A wonderful piece filled with reflection. Nice form and flow and your thoughts are those of many as we age with youth remaining unseen inside each of us. Hugs, Bunny

-
yeah I know that feeling too being a grandma and not old enough for the title... lol, but it sure is fun to be one...lol
BANITS UNITED!

-
Bandits unite
This is really good we all ponder are life and wondering what was in our life to go.Thank you for sharing this piece.Best Wishes

-
"The once cherished image in the mirror
has been replaced by a wrinkled man." Oh how i relate to that!
I once thought I would take all of the mirrors out of the house. I have written poems about aging as well. There's a list on my page..
-
I like this a lot. Loved the metaphors.
Thank you for entering,
Good luck!

























