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Drift Away

When you look into the crowd
Am I just another face?
I’d never tell you this out loud
But I think I’ve been replaced
Did our candle just burn out?
Or was it blown out by the tact I didn’t chase?
Am I still in your memories?
Or were those eight years erased?
I just can’t put it into words
Somehow I became withdrawn
It looks like now we’re going backwards
We drift away until we’re gone
Is it okay to think this is wrong?
Is it that I just don’t belong,
Or have I been thinking about it too long?

It doesn’t seem like much to you
But for me this is regrettable
Whatever I did wrong, I won’t ever do again
Am I really that forgettable?
In case you’re wondering, I’ve moved on
I’ve gotten so good at playing along
I just go about life
And pretend nothing’s wrong
I’m not sure what went on between you and me
Or if we’ll ever be friends like we used to be
But in a way, you’ve made me strong
Though I was afraid of being alone
I learned how to get through life on my own
That if there’s a chance, then I should take it
By then I’d found life is what you make it
Such powerful, yet simple words
Still I remain withdrawn
And it looks like we’ve been going backwards
We drift away until we’re gone
Maybe it’s okay to think this is wrong
Or have I been stuck in my mind for too long?

Author notes

Febuary 12, 2006... First through eigth grade I had a best friend I did pretty much everything with. We would be on the phone with each other for hours... I don't really even know what happened. I think she got annoyed with me, and we didn't talk as much. I sort of got depressed and in my own little void... Then she started hanging out with other people more often... I can't stand losing people, and I really felt bad that she pretty much fell off the face of the earth. I had no one to share my secrets with. No one to vent on when I was having bad days. She doesn't even know that she was the inspiration for this poem.
_________________________________________________
3)-Lost One
Have you lost someone? Could be through death or disowning them.
Could range from death of a family member, to losing a friend
you once thought would never leave.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Starfire23
    June 11
    Edit | Reply
    This is so sad and my fave part was when you said:"When you look into the crowd
    Am I just another face?
    I’d never tell you this out loud
    But I think I’ve been replaced
    Did our candle just burn out?
    Or was it blown out by the tact I didn’t chase?" I hope you win!
  • SecretMe15
    October 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It sounds like your confused of what happened. But things happen I guess and people do change. I get what your getting at and it's happened to me before.


  • ArcaneBeast
    September 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    It sucks to lose a friend, being ignored like you're just another face amonst the crowd of people. I really hate it when people turn on your for such silly reasons. At times I never get it. I just dont get it. Why? Oh well.... Excellent poem. Good luck.


  • LadysDragon
    August 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I hope you and your friend are friends again!i am sorry if not.Thank you and good luck!

  • katiethepirate
    July 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Well done, the thoughts and feelings were truly sincere. Thanks much for entering the contest!


  • Heavenly Angel
    June 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    A fine poem written for, and about, your friend
    Thank you for sharing

  • ibsons hysops
    June 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I loved this!

  • impossible dreamer
    May 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Good job!! I really liked the lines
    It looks like now we’re going backwards
    We drift away until we’re gone

    Good job and good luck in the contest.

  • ninja girl 418
    May 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is really good. i know how you feel my best friend since second grade ditch me, blew me off, and blocked me on aim. i feel for you. this is a very good write.
  • x-Black-Butterfly-x silver member
    May 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is really good reminded me of my best mate. instead of getting closer we got further and now she is my worst enemy. u displayed all ur thgts in this well and you could really feel and understand what you was saying. a great write thnx and gd luck

  • FallinUpTheStairs
    April 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Structure first... you need to make up your mind with your rhyme scheme, it changed, and that was very confusing for me as a reader, it would also flow far better if you had at least a similar amunt of syllables per line..
    As for words, you had far too many filler words 'you, I, we, the, and, he, she', and the word 'okay' is weak. You also re-iterated the same points over and over again, you need some new material in here, or to make it shorter and more concise.
    As a result of all those little things I've said I wasn't really feeling your pain here, despite having personal experience with this situation.
    I hope you choose to edit, this shows promise.
    Thank you for entering.

  • suzume
    April 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    That kind of stuff can be hard to deal with. It's happened to me before too. But the most important thing it not to beat yourself up over it. No matter what way you look at it, it isn't really your fault. If they chose to throw away something good, then they obviously didn't know its value.
    As for the poem, you can see the normal teenage mania in there, which, despite what I just preached, is all too real. 'What did I do wrong?' They on and off center rhyme was really kind of interesting. It followed no particular pattern, and yet it still came out sounding good, flowing in it's own way.
    Best of luck.


  • Friday gold member
    April 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    I found this rather interesting. Sad really that those we think we will know for our entire lives are rarely are. I think you portrayed your emotions wonderfully and thank you for using a non-standard rhyming structure, apparently this is too difficult to understand for some.  So thank you for actually reading what I had written.

    The only sugestion I have to make with this is perhaps if you went through and had a look at putting some punctuation in, it could help the flow of the poem. Thank you for entering and best of luck to you :)


  • okadadokie
    March 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This poem has many strong thoughts and feelings, I can tell, I felt them. Great job in capturing your emotions, nice rhyming also. Good luck.
    ~Oka

1 - 14 of 14