because i'm seven-teen
you assume that i'm stealing
because i have piercings
you assume that i'm dealing
because i laugh
you assume that i'm high
because i wear black
you assume i wanna die
Well has it ever crossed you mind
that i'm just trying to be
and that when you assume
That your hurting me?
No I guess not
because you do it everyday
But don't try to change me
I'll always be this way
Author notes
Steyro types butter-cup-babii
A contest entry
- Profound Rounds Part II (Finalists of Round 1 only) by Kevan.
395 points, ended March 19, 2007, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Contest by PrettyxoxPoison.
300 points, ended April 10, 2007, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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My contest is specifically for poems written between October and February. This one was written in March. Please be courteous and remember to follow the rules of the contest.
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This is a great write. I hate labelling and I can relate to your poem on so many levels. The bronze trophy is well deserved, well done daughter!
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Freak frack.
I hate when people do that,
but;;
what are we going to do about it?
~Princess of Shadows~ -
cool, great use of rhyme & repetition.
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I hate it when people assume with no basis of knowledge. It's just like the way people react when they find out I'm a pacifist. They assume that I'm weak or that I don't know how to fight when in reality I could beat them bloody if I wanted to. I like the repitition of the "because" and "you assume". It really helps the poem to flow.
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this is amazing. steyro types play a big part at my school it makes me so mad
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i think all teens would recognize these feelings. this is great.
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This was so great. I totally know what you mean about sterotypes in this world. It's sad how when I walk into a gas station store, I keep my hands kind of up because I don't want them to think I'm stealing. Congrats on your trophy! Keep up the good work.
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People have been judging each other and always will judge each other. This poem addresses alot of the "stereotypical" points of being "gothic" or "emo." Very well written. Keep on writing!
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Great write. I also hate it when people make assumptions based on how a person dresses. People shouldn't be stereotyped based on what they wear. I liked the last two lines the best. They seemed full of strength, like it doesn't matter what others think, you will keep on dressing the way you want. Good luck in the contest and thanks for the comment on "Who Will You See".
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Originality/Creativity - 9/10 Good Work. I really like how you used yourself as the person being stereotyped!
Imagery/message - 8/10 I really liked the moral of this one. Nobody can change you due to their beliefs.
Style/Form - 10/10 Great form and sweet style!
Rule following 5/5 ~Every Rule was followed
Use Of Rhyme (If poem Rhymes) - 4/5 Almost all rhymes are inventive, and poem flows fairly well.
Other - 8/10 Could use capitalization in a few places to emphasize what you're trying to say. Spelling was good and good job getting your message across!
Total points: 44/50
Overall: Excellent work with this piece! My favourite part was:
"Because i'm seventeen
you assume that i'm stealing
because i have piercings
you assume that i'm dealing"
I liked that the most but there wasn't a part I didn't like. Excellent work and Good luck!
~Kevan
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