we
fell
fast
meeting
the
wood
floor
like
laughter
dying
Author notes
A contest entry
- Quick two--- 10 lines and 10 words by layla..
300 points, ended March 13, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Oooh. This was a cool one. I don't really like the form, but I like the words. Nice job, I'm sure you were loved.
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very original.
10 well chosen words indeed!
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You have taken us on a spell of endings. But being wood and not concrete a thought to new beginnings. Perhaps like skipping high on the tufted hills this is only the moment when we come down to skip back again. Way up high, off the ground -- practicing to be birds.
Love, Tom B.
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This seems like it would be difficult to do, but you did an excellant job here. These ten little words are rich with power and meaning. You should write more of these or a simular form. Best wishes and thanks for your comment on my poem "Intruder".
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I like this! The title brought me in, thinking of something totally different.
The ending is rather ambiguous, so it could be taken different ways.
I'll take it as dying in laughter, cause I would be in that situation. Plus it sounds better than the other option. -chuckle-
Good luck in the contest.
~Greg~
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brilliant
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ok. well this was absolutely amazing, I loved it. Ten lines and absolutely superb. You're great at this, you know.
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Funky
The title intrigued me so I thought I'd take a look. And I'm glad I did. This is deceptively simple, but it has hidden depths and the whole idea behind it is amazing. You're clearly a great writer, keep it up.
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when I first looked at the title I thought this was going to be something else. I really like the depth you delved into and I agree with Eden that its simple but great
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i love using titles that give my writes a double surface- its just how i write
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This is great. Simple but seemingly ambiguous enough to add a good amount of depth.
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