I crave to end my existence; cease this pain
Faith is gone, there's nothing more to gain
The shadows of uncertainty come and cloud my mind
In my head I hear the enemy feeding me the greatest lie
And I tell myself I'm worthless and ask why do I exist?
Won’t you look in the mirror? You have nothing to give
And the distorted image appears once again before my eyes
The world was not meant for you; you're not worthy of this life
I fight the tears with all my might and stand there trying to breath
Am I that different from the others, tell me, wont you please?
The image laughs at me; it preys on my weakness as I despair
It tells me it'd be so much easier if I just didn't care
As I prepare myself to yield for I can't walk another mile
They place in to my arms this girl, this precious little child
Her body so small, fragile, tender, and vulnerable to me
She lays there quietly sleeping; she seems so worry-free
And then she looks in to my eyes and all is clear
For her I promise that I will confront my fears
She holds up her tiny hand close to my face
It’s like she’s showing me a way out of this maze
I wonder how she will turn out when she grows up
And I know I’ll lose that treasured chance if I give up
When she is older I want to be there by her side
I want to dissipate the darkness of her nightmares, be her guide
If life gives her afflictions I want to be her strength
And how can I accomplish to protect her with my death?
I cannot say it will be easy to battle this depression
But I will set a good example for my families’ successor
A little ray of sunshine in the shadows; that is what she is
I will watch over her and preserve her under my wing
And as my enemy whispers discouraging thoughts inside my head
I firmly tell myself “Stop it! She’s watching your mistakes.”
Author notes
One day I was very depressed, like so many others and all of a sudden my mom walked in and handed me my baby niece. She was asleep, and I was just so down and was having suicidal thoughts. And all of a sudden, she woke up and looked up at me with this huge smile that touched me in such a way I just burst out crying. She is five months old and is the most precious little girl you could ever find. She's my bothers daughter and I love her to bits. This was the poem I wrote some time after that day.
March 10, 2007
6:39 am
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Great
Great words that were written, and it all came together with the note you wrote at the end. Hope you are feeling a lot better now young lady. your words were wonderful and I hope you have an impact on your young neice's life for the better.
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The poem was very good but specially like the words that concluded the poem, careful she is watching your mistakes! Sure the child is a ray of light! Great write here keep writing!
~ Lonely
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Well penned, Sarai! I'm glad you've found a light to keep going. Don't give in to that despair, and don't give in to apathy. Neither are any way to live a life; they just make you a fading shell of who you were. Hold to the light; it will keep you strong, for that's what you're made of, pure light. I know, that in whomever you find to protect or raise, you'll pass that light and good onto them, and the world will be that much better. Keep going. Even if you're crawling, you're going, just never never stop.
-Lyneun
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aaaaaaaaaaaaawww!!!
this is really sweet!!!! AAAAWWW!! -
Aww.
Suicidal thoughts are definitely not the way to go...you know how i feel about that bc of my friend that succeeded in his attempt...but, just an aesthetic note, i read this just as i clicked on ur myspace page, and the music fits that piece PERFECTLY! MAGNIFICO!
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