1) Time has repainted the vaguely familiar house with all shades of degeneration.
2) Across the dusty and discolored couch, awkwardly placed, I meet her eyes; very like the reflection in my mirror; only wiser with age.
3) Simplicity that I have known to be her, speaks to me again, in her soft green dress, un-jeweled form, save a pair of gold studs that have long lost their sparkle.
4) In her eyes I see her behold herself, as I behold myself, in a different time.
5) Memory gains voice as I hear my name rise from her lips, repeated over, as she revels in the sound of it.
6) As we reach across the couch, it seems to lose its timeworn look and become once more a part of Home, a symbol of togetherness, a place of mother-daughter bonding.
7) Light plays in her eyes, a hint of tears, dimmed with age, rejuvenated with joy.
8) I hear my name called once more as we embrace, broken by sobs, just like on that day when I saw her last.
9) As my head comes to rest on her shoulder, she pulls off her left ear stud, to lay her head on mine unobstructed.
10) I finally find my voice. Just a whisper; “ I know, for I too am a mother now.”
A contest entry
- Creative-Writing Workshop (IMPROVE YOUR SKILLS) by Girl With Guitar.
1350 points, ended April 2, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Sadly Nostalgic...
A poetically written piece about a mother and daughter's reunion, with a nice mix of powerful emotions and memories surfacing from the past. It moves forward with a daughter's new revelation and comprehension of motherhood beautifully shared between mother and daughter.
I enjoyed the way this was written, the use of words and the incredible image that I was left with...
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I am not sure to be saddened or touched by this, I think perhaps both. You created something very vivid and I was in love with #3. Nice job indeed, it is a very creative and moving write.
Best wishes. -
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Thank you for your comment. Glad you liked it and took the time to comment.
Best
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This is great. 7 however needs to be more of a change, as this expresses no real change that we can see from just this piece.
Great piece though,
Thank you for entering.
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